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A place where you don’t even know if it’s real or not for being in central Jersey and you will find so many white boys trying to be hood or gang. The school cares more about dress code than the boys bathroom who smells like acid with shit. You can’t even talk shit in portuguese or Spanish because everyone understands.
“South River New Jersey is not even real, it’s central Jersey”
A small and very unnoticed town in north central new jersey that is full of pathetic jersey shore wannabes that love nothing more than to get stoned in the woods behind peoples houses while avoiding the the long hill police force that has nothing better to do than harass teenagers, pull people over, and just be general dumbasses. People in long hill also think they're ghetto, and they throw their "gang" sign constantly without realizing that if they do that in front of the wrong people, they will get their asses beaten to a pulp. All of this causes neighboring towns to laugh and make fun of long hill kids, while calling their town names like Bong Hill.
"yo dude lets go to long hill township, new jersey!"
"no way man, theres nothing to do in that town and all the kids there are complete douchbag tools. lets go to a place where we can actually have fun, like summit or madison"
"good idea! then we won't have to worry about being harassed by their bullshit police department!"
Terrible, terrible place. Everyday innocent New Yorkers are forced to drive there for work. Literal garbage.
I have to go to hell this weekend.
Dont you mean New Jersey?
The most disgusting place in America.
Literally the armpit of this great nation; if the nation had heinous curry fueled armpit B.O. If you role down your window as you pass by the “Welcome to New Jersey” sign, you are smacked in the face with a putrid smell of New York’s garbage that Jersey removes for them. The worst drivers in the country; they drive like maniacs… probably because they are trying to escape the trash-boat state they were unfortunate enough to be born into.
Dan: “Hey Steve roll down the window I wanna smell that fresh New Jersey air”
Steve: “If you roll that window down I will fucking strike you in the liver… New Jersey smells like your Aunt Claudia’s vagine, Dan… worst state in the Union”
The land of the insane and stupid.
" I once saw a guy from New Jersey try to jump in a lake from 40 feet in the air from a cliff"
The most amazing state in the entire U.S.A. and I don't want to hear you southerner motherfuckers talking because you all suck. First off all, NO. WHERE THE FUCK. IS. JOISEY. I HAVE NEVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY "JOISEY" BEFORE EXCEPT THESE FUCKING NEW FUCKING NEW YORKERS ON THE FUCKING TURNPIKE OR THE GS PARKWAY BETWEEN EXITS 88-94.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. YES WE SAY TAWK. YES WE SAY CAWFEE. BUT NO WE DON'T SAY JOISEY FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES. Now to my next point, is that WE ARE THE BEST STATE. We don't spend our time saying "howdy y'all" in the most mickey-mouse sounding voice ever and growing fucking corn all day while burning to motherfucking death (yes, arizona texas and louisiana that's directed at you bitches). Wanna know why we fucking hate you? You hate us. Imagine all 49 other states just talking shit about you, like "oh florida's just a spawn of white karens and gators" or go to my profile to see the rest of my motherfucking 5178 character essay because the definition has a character limit of 1500. I promise it's up becaues I posted all the parts in the same like 10 mins and they were all finished posting by midnight september 4 2022.
I fucking love New Jersey it's the best state we have best tomatoes best pizza best bagels best blueberries and we keep our parks in good condition. we have a weird accent but it's better than hearing "howdy y'all" every day. no we don't say joisey but we do say tawk and kawfi.
A state that has managed a reputation of being bad-but really isn't. It has beautiful scenery in southern and north-western parts. It's more than the smoke stacks and utilitarian New Jersey, New Yorkers see across the Hudson.
New Jersey-I hope you're happy you moved to Florida. It's 22 degrees in Trenton right now.