girlfriend: May I please fart in your mouth.
dude: Well I guess so, since it's from a women.
squirt!!!
dude: It was nasty you squirted in my eye.
girlfriend: Whats a squirt? Shit? Im so sorry that I just shit in your eye.
22๐ 23๐
When someone with an erect penis ejaculates too early during intercourse, but the other party/parties has/have not yet climaxed/gekommen.
Uncum yourself please / unkommen Sie bitte. I need 10 more minutes.
Most commonly seen on technical websites, between the download page and where the download is advertised.
This brief drop off page will advertise something or other before redirecting you to the download.
Please take a moment to visit our sponsor. You will be redirected to http://dl.winsite.com/bin/downl?500000027296 in a few seconds.
8๐ 10๐
Horrific message often found when listening to Beatles albums played backwards. "Tea" and "sugar" obviously have multiple unspeakably depraved meanings. (How do you play them backwards, by the way? I've never managed to do it!)
On hearing that bit where gnis seltaeB eht Pass the tea, please, where's the sugar?:
Ohhh NOOOOOOOOOO, it's super teatime AGAIN, hide the kiddies!!!
2๐ 10๐
Im a male and im now single i was married to this bitch named Karen she took my 3 kids and moved to hawaii and now im living in my own garage cause im too scared to sleep in the house my dick is 3.2 inches and i like to watch furry porn please hmu if u wanna smash my name is Kevin.
Me: Karen please don't go i loved to sniff ur butt cheeks when u are asleep
Karen: Nigga u stole my beans and now im stealing the kids
Me on tinder: Karen took my kids please send nudes
55๐ 2๐
What google says when you type wubba lubba dub dub and that it says "did you mean i am in great pain. please help me.
What google says when you type wubba lubba dub dub and that it says "did you mean i am in great pain. please help me.
PLs fucking help vin diesel has been holding me captive for many years. He occasionally feeds me ice cubes and whispers in my ear "Think about erin shoving it in her mouldy minge". I want to kill myself but vin diesel has made it impossible. On my birthday he feeds me his seed in hopes I would produce an offspring for him which he will name Ralph.
I am being held hostage please help, please fucking help i am being held hostage in the krusty krab
17๐ 3๐