Random
Source Code
Random
Vampires are characterized by the following attributes:
1. They are undead, meaning that they have died, but risen again as creatures with tremendous strength, but also a weakness to various things, including garlic, sunlight, and crucifixes.
2. They are consistently extremely malicious, and seek out humans for one or more of the following purposes: to kill and eat, to use as cattle that they consistently drain small amounts of blood from, and/or to turn into more vampires.
3. A vampire has no conscience. Vampires may recognize people that they knew while alive, but they have no emotional response associated with this recognition, other than bloodlust.
Also, some kids dress up as vampires and refer to themselves as "vampires..." but actually they are just human high schoolers with too little homework.
TWILIGHT FAN: Edward Cullen is a vampire.
DRACULA FAN: No. No, he isn't.
TWILIGHT FAN: Shut up! What do you know?! You were born in the late 1800s!
DRACULA FAN: This is true.
31👍 21👎
A lawyer, especially a lawyer specialized in personal injury claims.
I hate lawyers... what a bunch of vampires.
146👍 135👎
Going south on a lady when she is menstruating. As per that bro in Twilight.
I love vampiring you, Girl. /bares teeth
7👍 3👎
Sexy, beautiful creatures who can seduce anyone into getting their blood sucked by them.
"I come to suck your blood!" |:>
"Sure! Why don't I slip into something a little more comfortable?..." ;)
"...???" /:|
117👍 107👎
Sanguinarian.
A human that derives their energy from blood.
Corrections:
Only SENSITIVE to sunlight
Garlic is friendly
Crosses, some sangs are Christians
Stakes, kill anyone
Bats, no
the transformation (You must be born and awakened. Awakening means, coming to the realisation that you are a Sanguinarian.)
What the legends got sorta correct:
Increased strength (can beat pretty much anyone in an arm wrestle)
Better sight ( They were caught reading in dim or no light.)
Better hearing (can hear the whine of the lights and/or the buzz of the TV without straining to listen)
Better smell
Empathic
limited precognition
Drink blood (using either blood from packaged meat or from a willing donor. Only taking a tablespoon amount)
Nocturnal (daymare for teens awakening because of school running during only the day time. Most are seen resting their head on the desk, when the teach isn't looking)
Above average intelligence (controlling the bloodthirst is considered to be harder than starvation and/or giving up cocaine. It takes a level of brain activity to outsmart it each time)
Pale
Cold skin
Slow heartbeat
Things you may not know they suffer from:
Nausea
Hot/cold flashes
Shivers
Paranoia
Depression
Blurred eyes
Stomach pain
Higher risk of allergies
Blood dreams
The lingo:
Twoof - strongest blood urge (if your sang says she's gonna twoof or she is, get yourself out)
Mundane - someone not currently suffering from the sanguine condition
Black swan - donor
A vampire is really a Sanguinarian.
8👍 5👎
Someone who eats a lot of pussy or sucks a lot of dick.
Joe- Man Jerry eats pussy like every night.
Johnny- Ya dude he is such a vampire.
7👍 3👎
A person who eats a girl out on her period (bloodied-tampon eaters included)
Girl: Chad it’s my time of the month again
Chad: Time to be a vampire
11👍 3👎