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dweeb-wanker

An individual whose grandma like stamina projects (albeit unintentionally) a distracted and disinterested air that is interpreted by many as aloofness or conceited disapproval. This is a misconception however, as in contrast to your conventional wanker's feigned apathy a true dweeb-wanker will be genuinely fatigued from a hard days wholesome activities such as weaving or picking out a new pair of 'jim-jams' to match their favourite fluffy sheets.

It was only as Lindsey arrived at a gig at what others saw as 'fashionably late' because he had to finish sewing on his latest scout merit badges that he considered maybe he really was a dweeb-wanker.

by ninjabuster June 04, 2011


Bin wanker

Someone who likes to touch bins whilst feeling sexually aroused.

Burnzy stop being a Bin Wanker again, it’s not Bin day till Wednesday.

by Finch1716 July 16, 2019


Wanker's Crown

Alternative phrase for man bun or manbun when worn by a hipster or similarly smug, pretentious twat.

"I see that guy next door is now wearing a Wanker's Crown"
"Yes, gone down the full Hipster route sadly....."

by Dgaf72 January 25, 2020


knuckleball wanker

Someone who reckons they're the next reckoning of Cristiano Ronaldo because they once hit a football that moved a bit in the air

'Salim has started wearing Nike Hypervenoms because he reckons he's good enough to play professional football.'
'What a knuckleball wanker!'

by MaliaMadness2020 March 22, 2016


Nightshift wanker

The individual that always works nights and endlessly blames people working on the day shift when things go wrong, especially on construction projects.

Day shift supervisor: "handover notes have been left from last night, the nightshift wanker is complaining again"

by Kill_crazy September 29, 2023


Glove Wanker

To wear fingerless biker styled gloves to the gym while working out.

“Hey look everyone Manda has got herself a set of fingerless gloves, what a glove wanker!”

by Rokena February 20, 2020


Wanker tax

The act of inflating the cost of something to reflect the fact that you find the client obnoxious.

It was a four grand project but I bumped it up to nine because it’s M&C Saatchi and they always pay the wanker tax.

by Mezentius January 31, 2021