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Another way to say toilet paper
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The seemingly impossible feat of somehow smearing a light, dry layer of feces onto the toilet while sitting on it, often resulting in nobody fessing up to it. It is unknown how exactly this stupid event occurs, but it is thought to happen in one or both of these ways:
1. Wiping and then fumbling with the used toilet paper before getting in the toilet, thus dropping it on the back of the seat near the tailbone.
2. Scooting off the toilet quickly in an attempt to get back to something quickly (i.e. TV, computer, etc.) or to pull one's own pants up after a bathroom intrusion as the result of an unlocked door, resulting in the sliding of a half-wiped anus on the front of the toilet seat.
Man: Damn it, somebody did a wipe n' go in here!!!!!!!
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when you take a dump, and it takes rolls of toilet paper to attempt to get clean. Everytime you wipe you get a mark on the paper.
Everytime you wipe it's like wiping a felt-tip marker. Keeps making a mark on the toilet paper.
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The action carried out by IT professionals when pacing around the office, it is often followed up by a 'finger smell'
Andrew "what are you doing?"
Jake "Smelling my fingers after a quick cock wipe"
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patronizing and/or obvious instructions
Humble Worker: "I just thought you'd want to know that docID # 1390882 in the database won't convert to PDF."
Jackass Supervisor: "Did you tag it as a conversion error?"
Humble Worker: "Um, yeah... I don't need ass-wiping instructions."
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sucking dick OR eating the pussy
I don't want to sex you but you can wipe me down
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Taking a shower after defecating to skip the wiping process. This is less messy, as you can wipe your arse with your hands and then wash your hands.
Johnny: "Dude I just dropped a huge one, sorry for the mess"
Dave: "You wipe, or pull the old shower wipe trick?"
Johnny: "Showered obviously, though the back of my hands still smell a bit."
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