Random
Source Code
Random
The words of a man with his priorities straight
Baby we did it! You're gonna be a father!
Im reading Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, what do you want?
7👍 1👎
someone with God-given sex appeal, sure to turn heads when they walk into a room. Please, dont be alarmed, they love holding toes rather than hands, especially in the room you sleep in. A fighter since the womb, they will never back down from a challenge. Sure to be socially awkward art times, but you cant blame them, it takes two to create the child, and its not their mother's genes. They have a nice balance of morbid obesity yet cultured with a touch of racism. The best of both worlds one might say. Im so horny rn. Not only are their toes enormous, but so is their lower left intestine. It really gets everyone in the room gassed up. Along with luscious locks of hair, probably better than your moms, they have an uncanny resemblance to Lavar Ball (black middle aged man), but you will never hear them brag about it because of how humble they are. Basically to sum it up, this person is like taking Xanex and LSD while getting railed from the behind by a guerrilla-monster. Not to be mistaken for a guerrilla like harambe, because harambe was a pussy compared to this shit.
Person 1: "Doctor, please prescribe me something my anxiety and depression is making me want to eat ass."
Person 2: "I will prescribe you with a daily zoom call with my brotha fromah notha motha Gennifer Dorgan Phillip John Pagano Keerat Howe Octavias Maximum Security Prison 6ix9ine, their raw sexual charisma will radiate through your body and cure your problems immediately
5👍 7👎
The type of person who gets locked up in a "smart prison" is a smart prisoner.
Smart prisoners conversation between the law and the hard place:
Constable: "son, you're off to a smart prison."
Human being and offender: "am I that intelligent?"
A Prison Pen is a form of improvised writing instrument, which is achieved when one defecates just enough to extend past the buttocks and holds it there. The extended fecal matter is then used as a writing device in a manner similar to that of a mechanical pencil.
Person 1: Our boat is destroyed! How are we going to send an SOS?
Person 2: well there's a large rock face over there, we could use our Prison Pens
Person 1: I hate you so f**king much. If we starve I'm eating you first.
When you go to jail and engage in anal sex. And your partner shits on your dick, but had corn and nuts the night before.
"You new here? How about you ask your cell mate if you can try the prison corndogs."
The act of soaping up another inmates beard. Then using said inmates beard like a loofah.
After Tyrone soaped up the inmates beard. Tyrone had the inmate rub up and down his back with his prison loofah.
*Sigh* Oh Andy... What a shame... I guess I should have taken you up on that offer to come out there.... Oh, well, I'm sure I'll be finished by the time you're out and I will come rescue you. Or you'll beat the charges.
Myron "I would have known! I WOULD HAVE KNOWN!"
Hym "How would you have known, shit-head? He would have confessed to rape to you? Really? And if you wouldn't have hung out with him if he was guilty (which I doubt), would you have snitched? In which case, why would he tell you? Dumb. Low-value and dumb. But he's back in prison again. That's a bummer. If you hurry up and get me my shit I'll save him. Their desperation to lock him up might have something to do with me and my input would likely be substantial."