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When finding men's mags discarded in a hedge. Often thought to be like finding treasure for a teenage boy.
When retrieving my football from a hedge i spotted some prime hedge treasure to take home for a late evening browse.
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Somebody who lurks around (usually in the office, school, playground etc) spying on female staff / small children, only surfacing to harass said victims with a disgusting sense of "slickness".
Hedge pests are usually older and very unattractive, often sporting a mustache, missing teeth, scraggly hair, and a pot belly.
Hedge pests are often the target of sexual harassment claims, and would account for a large percentage of all those charged with possessing child pornorgraphy
"Did you see Phil stroking the back of that hot chick on reception?
Yeah, what a filthy hedge pest"
"Look at that dirty old man spying from the hedges just beyond the playground!
Quick, call the police!"
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Wear home made clothes or ridiculous psychadelic tie die clothes, clothes of natural materials. They tend not to wash very often, hence they look like they have just slept in a hedge, or in fact live in hedges although we all know they really live in a squat with a peace symbol painted on the front door.
Somebody who tends to live the 'hippy' way of life to the extreme, they usually have white-boy dreads & take lots of 'earthy' drugs (weed/mushrooms/psychoactive plants etc & lsd), love travelling to festivals / acid techno squat parties in their 'freedom wagons' or VW camper vans, Beetle's or 20 year old decomissioned old service vans/trucks etc. Usually vegetarians and love going on protest marches/anti war/anti fox hunting marches etc.
Can be heavily into spirituality & regularly smell of josticks or special brew / cider. Sometimes mistaken for tramps.
"Last year at Glastonbury a hedge monkey was trying to sell me a 2nd class stamp saying that it was a giant tab of acid."
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going around with your mates and charging at random hedges in at anyones garden and throwing yourself into or over them to make people laugh at how stupid you look lauching yourself through the leaves n sticks, landing on your face in someones front yard
nick- lets go hedge hopping
danny- go for that one, go on.
nick flings himself through hedge
danny- hahahahahaha
nick- ouch shit, ive cut my arm and back
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To bankrupt a hedge fund by short squeezing it.
Man, did you see what's happening on Reddit? DeepFuckingValue really hedge fucked Wall Street.
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A nationally recognised sport in the UK. Originally conceived in Harrogate, North Yorkshire by a group of pissed up sixth formers. Marks based on height, impact left, style and hedge selection. Synchronised hedge jumping began to gain momentum in this art until hedge integrity began to prove this variation to be mindless destruction.
Inspiration was first provided by Will 'Crazy Will' McIntosh and the idea further with Robert Cooper, Will Claringbold, Alasdair Bannatyne and Jonny Hurst.
Shit! look at that impact, he leveled that hedge. I FUCKING LOVE HEDGE JUMPING!
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