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(n.) Stupid, ignorant, often illiterate moron with no respect for other human beings. Generally have very bad taste in music and clothing, they are afraid of anything vaguely complicated or different. Commonly speak like dis m8, innit. txt tlk isnt kl m8, so dnt use it, k?! (These stupid creatures are easily outwitted)
1. 'Go faster' stripes.
2. Burbery.
3. White trainers(especially nike or reebok).
4. tlkin like a moron m8 innit
5. Thick 'gold' chain worn round neck.
6. Soveriegn rings.
7. Big hoopy earings.
8. Listens to rap, hip-hop,r&b and/or dance style music.
9.Hate goths.
10.Difficult to understand.
You're getting bored! All of these are signs of chavvyness!
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A lame excuse for a teenager.
Usually sporting every single bit of Nike they can find and the whitest trainers you have ever seen.
The usual habitat for a chav is either McDonalds or outside the Co-op.
And looking 'hard' on their BMX's.
Seem too refer too everyone as 'mate' even though they are having a go at them.
Mostly they think they are sex on legs, but everyone knows we just laugh about them behind their backs.
Chav: OI YOU MATE.
Normal: ... Hi?
Chav: ARE YOU STARTING ON ME?
Normal: .. No -Thinking- Why is this randomer having a go?
Chav: -Lights 'Fag'- I AIN'T EVEN BOTHERED MATE.
Normal: Ok then.. O.O
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The humble chav, aka scum. These simple creatures walk the earth clad in as many fake lables as they can fit on their puny, weak, little bodies. Their language consists of...well if we could work it out im sure it would make sense to someone. Commonly seen in 'crews' of about...2500 hanging around on street corners drinking the o so delightful bottle of 'white lightning' bragging about how many 'mother fuckers' they managed to father in a space of a week.
Chavettes, aka sluts, are commonly found pushing a lovely pushchair(probably stolen off some unsuspecting passer by) round and round followed by a crowd of possible 'fathers' of the poor little socially rejected child.
These creatures somehow aquire a liking for hip hop/r&b and burberry. Chavs seem to have a 'limp' which means one side of their body has 2 flop mysteriously to one side in unison, carefully avoiding puddles and any signs of dirt that might affect the pristine white reebok classics.These creatures somehow aquire a liking for hip hop/r&b and burberry. Often seen wearing matching fake tracksuits and chav caps, these individuals like to pick fights with little children or old aged pentioners(who would probably beat them in a fight anyway). They drive round and round the local one way system revving up their 'blingin' peices of chavved up metal they call cars or little scooters that they probably havn't even got a licence for...using up all the petrol they probably more than likely stole from someone elses car.
These things could possibly be captured but unfortunately i think there is a law that says we can't. However the art of chav hunting is still free so help the cause and go chav hunting!
a typical chav conversation
'yo bruv...dese tunez iz bangin init'
'init blod...yo iz getin laid by ya bitch l8r?'
'which 1 bruv...?'
'ya no...dat bitch wid da hench tits init'
...it continues on and on....
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Complete and utter waste of space. Recent (couple of years) incursion into British culture is the "Chav."
There are two forms of this word;
Chav = Cheltenam Average
Chav = Council House and Violent
I'm sure everyone has heard of these tosspots, but if you aren't quite sure.. Perhaps this will jog your memory?
- Pitiful IQ, of which barely rivals an amoeba.
- Burburry baseball cap, always worn at an angle
- Utmost idiocy and unbelievably annoying abuse of the English language.
- Tracksuits or other branded clothing such as Addidas or Reebok.
- Bling Central. At least one golden coloured ring on each finger, a couple of chains.
- In order to become a chav you must first be either really short, really lanky or incredibly fat (normally chavettes)
- Huge groups of complete remedials.
- Immensely tacky clothing, complete with retarded gestures when speaking to a fellow zombie.
- Normally in groups of 10 or more, you can often see the whole group fighting each other just for the hell of it or all beating on some innocent bystander who happened to look in their general direction.
-Only nutrition comes from fast food restaurants, most classic being McDonalds. Often because it's all they can afford.
Basically, if you have seen Shaun of The Dead, chavs are the zombies + burberry + bling + 9 other companions - 200 braincells.
A group of chavs often take a while to decide what to do. This is due to the fact that the sharing of the single brain cell they have takes a while to get passed on to each "person."
All chavs should be exterminated. Shoot at will, innit.
Example 1-
A) Chav 1: Wut da fuk are yu lukin at?
B) Respectable Person: You
C) Chav 1 & 2: Ooh, did ya all ere dat? e's a cheeky one
D) Chavette: Yea, ar ya startin? I'll fukin ave yu.
E) All Chavs: Ge'd 'im!
F) Chav 4: Yea lets fukin spark im out, like.
G) Chav 7: Innit
H) Chavette: I is well up for it
I) -Poor offspring of 12 and 14 year old chav cries-
J) Chav 3: Aw for fuk sake man, shut dat lidle fucka up, like
K) Chav 8: Yo
L) -All go to "spark out" the guy that looked at them.-
Translations:
A) Chav 1: Someone with a life is regarding our group.
B) Respectable Person: You
C) Chav 1 & 2: Gosh. He just said something I didn't understand. Lets
insult him.
D) Chavette: Yes. I'm harder than all of these lads here, i'll hit you.
E) All Chavs: Lets get him!
F) Chav 4: Yes, lets beat him and knock him out.
G) Chav 7: Yeah.
H) Chavette: I am feeling up to a fight.
I) -Poor offspring of 12 and 14 year old chav cries-
J) Chav 3: Darn. Not that silly child again. Dearest, please calm him
down.
K) Chav 8: Yeah.
L) -All go to beat up the guy that looked at them.-
Example 2-
1) Lone Chav: Ya startin?
2) Respectable Person: Yeah -Walks towards the ape-like creature-
3) Chav: Ar shit man, I was only kiddin' innit
1) Lone Chav: I don't know why that man is stood near me. He must be
trying to start a fight.
2) Respectable Person: Yeah -Walks towards the chav-
3) Chav: Oh no! Where's all my gang? I'm too scared to touch him unless
at least 5 of my friends beat him up with me. I'm sorry mister, please
don't hurt me.
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chavs are part human part dog offspring. this comes about from their slaggy mother being so slaggy they actually turn into a dog.the change happens very slowly so no one realises.
due to this nature the chavs hang around in packs, usually consisting of about 8 males who regularly meet up with their chavettes (the female of the species) in the carparks of train stations. they also dwell in the doorways of mcdonalds trying to start a fight with anyone that comes within a 2 meter radius of them, as long as the person is under 4 feet tall, therefore showing no threat.
they are almost always white, and very skinny, where the chavettes are usually overweight, with large stretchmarks on their stomachs form excessive baby having. a chavette will have one baby every year from the age of 13, with their 'boyfriends' being at least 2 years older.
the chavs love hiphop and rap music, while also being extremly racist towards black people but more so asians, who they think are draining all the taxes that they should be getting, which is obviously not true.
they wear plastic tracksuits, imitation reebok, though some may stretch their benefits to buying a reebok baseball cap. the matching traksuit is usually dark blue with a white stripe, white sports socks pulled up to the ankles with the tracky bottoms tucked into them. wearing cheap trainers that they keep emaculatly white, usually writing reebok on them themselves to impress their other chav mates (reebok is the only brand most of them know, though some may progress to nike). if they cannot afford a reebok baseball cap, it is imitation burberry.
they always have one ear pierced with an oversized stud in that jut looks gay, and lots of fake gold jewellery and sovering rings, and one eyebrow with too much shaved off to look good, as they slipped while holding their razor cos their hands are so greasy.
the chavettes wear exactly the same but a pink tracky with more jewellery and 7 large hoops in their ears and their belly button pierced. they dont wear a cap but have their long greasy hair tied back in a ponytail so tight you can see their dandruff. they also have a large 3 seater second hand pushchair, with 3 different coloured children in, all at different stages in the chav development, with caps already fitted and ears pireced.
the chavs smoke tiny fags that they have found on the floor around bins, because of this they are prone to spitting so never approach them.
they will find a really shitty old car and 'update it' by robbing bits off other shitty old cars and gluing them on with pva. they never drive these cars but just stand by them looking 'cool'.
common chav names: dean, darren, kevin. common chavette names: tracy, stacy,
also know as kevs,kev
dean: aw shit tracys havin anoter littlun agin innit.
darrun: so is stacy. whut slags innit.
dean: they so stoopid getting preeeeegnant innit
darren:yeah. hey tracy wanna do it in maccy d's bogs innit?
dean: hey thats my girl innit.
darren: its ok. you can borrow stacy innit.
dean: ok. innit.
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Oh look there goes a gaggle of chavs, pass the gun dear.
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chavs...wiggers...what's the difference? there both idiots.
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