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A bunch of crybaby-a** mid-18th-century rich-bug dudes who kept slaves and generally behaved disgracefully in their personal lives, but who still wanted to be free of the tyranny of England --- primarily for their own selfish financial sakes, though, not for the love of John Q. Public.
John Hancock realized how weak-willed and cowardly most of the minuscule-signature-scrawling signers of the Declaration of Independence were, and so he wrote his own name in huge letters to show King George how much bolder he was than most of the other wimpy foundling fathers.
Some random dude who put sperm in your mother and then if he finds out your mom is pregnant, might leave. Or if they’re just like “oh well this is my life now” they’ll stay and then act like they own you until you move out. If anyone owns you, it’s your mom. You stayed in her stomach for 9 months, left her, and then she tolerated all your shit. Honestly moms deserve more love.
Father: let’s do the nasty
Mom: okay
~a few weeks later ~
Mom: I’m pregnant
Father: fuck this shit
a person that someone looks up to or thinks of as a father.
person 1: thats my father!
person 2: they look nothing like you..
person 1: and that matters BECUASE???
15 years ago
Your father : I am gonna go to the store to get some milk brb
Your mom : Oh okay
Child you : Goo goo ga ga
15 years later
You : *searches father on urban dictionary*
Listen, I don't know either bro. Better luck next time.
Son: Father, who was the first father?
Father: Son, God was the first father.
Son: If God is a dad, doesn't that make dad bods the body of a god?
a male figure that leaves when his child is born
your father is gone on some pimp shit