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Your average guy. A gentleman that does very Carl-like things. Often gets confused with a Gary or a Gene
A man who seems to be everything you want. He is tall, dark and handsome. He has a mouth of gold and silver, and he has the knack of being able to make you believe anything he wants. Carl might be a beautiful, absolutely gorgeous man but he has one fucking ugly heart that is burnt black. Who the fuck knows what caused that to happen? He is so so so good in bed, and he will hold you afterwards like you are an angel. He will tell you he loves you but he is only joking. It takes at least 500 years for Carl to fall in love. Carl likes women, and by that I mean the female anatomy. He has a thing for innocent little girls in the 17-18 year old range, and he'll take their virginity and play with them for a while and then leave them.
Carl has an ego the size of Mt. Everest - it's so fucking big and unbelieveable - considering he isn't all that great. So he may have great hair and beautiful blue eyes and a gaze that can make you weak in the knees. He may even have the most beautiful accent known to man and may be the first man you ever fell in love with you.
His only weakness is his personality because he feels no remorse. He is clinical about everything, even if that thing is love and a 17 year old girl whose heart he broke. You want to hate him, but never can. He thinks every girl wants him.
Carl = any man ever that
likes women and is a player who really, really enjoys ripping your heart out of your chest after he leaves you.
Jane - Who's that?
Belinda: It's Carl.
Jane - Oh, the player.
The smartest guy in school and a good friend.
person 1: that new guy is really smart!
person 2: yeah he must be a carl
Carl is god. He created the universe. He created you. Why support stinky Jesus when you can stan Very Cool and Unique Carl. Elijah Daniel rose Carl from the grave. Everyone say thank you Elijah! Carl is the answer to all your problems. All you gotta do is sacrifice your first born child to Carl and then Carl will always be with you. Praise Carl.
Don’t worry Carl! My first born child is a hettie. I don’t want him anyways.
A guy who probably had his existential crisis that only the age of 16. He's the kind of guy who cries himself to sleep every night. If he has kids, He doesn't. His wife has them, Someone kidnapped them, Or some shit. Carl's get no kids. The only type of kids he gets is a class of angry teenagers who live off monster energy drinks. Carl's are usually teachers, why? because they hate their life so much so that they need to make it worse with every passing minute. By the age of five Carl's are usually alcoholics. You can't blame them. It's not their fault they were named Carl. Carl's also have a tendency to have very small penises. So small that a dwarf could top them. So small that it is impossible for a man like that to be straight. Carl's have small penises.
"oh hey that's Carl." "Doesn't he have a tiny penis?"
"Isn't that Carl's eighth wine bottle?"
"Someone help Carl he about to jump off the balcony again. "
John "Why are you here?" Carl "And how did you find this?" John "Hey! That was my line!" Carl "No, that was my line!"
John "No, MINE!" Carl "NO, MINE! John "GIMME THAT SCRIPT!" Carl "NO!" cartoon fight sound effects
John "Wait.. "Iwritedefinitions.webp" wrote that script for you and me, and we don't know who is supposed to say, "How did you get here?" So it's his fault!" Carl} " Yeah, you're right, let's get him!" John & Carl "GET OVER HERE!"
Iwritedefinitions.webp "uhoh."
