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A sex act, banned in 16 states, involving the following:
a funnel, maple syrup, handcuffs, a foot-long rubber cylinder, antlers & duct-tape. Optional: a goose.
I wanted her to do Canada's History, but it disgusted her, so she offered a Cleveland steamer.
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A bizarre sexual act involving three midgets, some syrup, toenail clippings and earwax. The three midgets gather in a circle, cover themselves with syrup, sprinkle toenail clippings on themselves, then lick earwax out of each other's ears while the spectator masturbates
Shortly sure can do Canada's History
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Two people head out into the woods, attack and immobilizes a moose, then proceed to tag-team copulate with the creature while sawing off its antlers. The two each hold an end of the antlers and wrassle with it on the moose's back, still coupled with the creature; they compete to force a bottle of maple syrup off the moose's back, to one side or another. The winner receives the Stanley Cup, or a reasonable facsimile if the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto cannot be reached, and the right to use the syrup, antlers, restraints, and Cup on the loser in any way they see fit. The loser receives the right to several hours-long hypnotherapy sessions to remove the memory of the entire event from their mind, ensuring it will resurface again and again in the victim's subconscious, rising to pillage the mind like a psychological Godzilla only to return to mysterious dormancy just as suddenly, thus providing an explanation for much of Canada's History.
Oh, so Harper lost a game of Canada's History? That explains quite a bit.
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'Canada's History' is the nickname for notorious porn addict and namesake of the Stanley Cup, Frederick Arthur Stanley, 16th Earl of Derby (15 January 1841 – 14 June 1908), known as Frederick Stanley until 1886 and as Lord Stanley of Preston between 1886 and 1893, was a Conservative Party politician in the United Kingdom who served as Colonial Secretary from 1885 to 1886 and the sixth Governor General of Canada from 1888 to 1893. An avid sportsman, he built Stanley House Stables large enough to house 3 dozen female moose during their most fertile period, along with "bottomless" maple syrup dispenser and back bacon station, in order to live for several months at a time in the frozen tundra without having to leave the stables. At least 143 of Stanley's "favorite" animal partners are buried under the statue of Lord Derby in Stanley Park, Vancouver, today.
Bob: I was like a one-man army, like Charlton Heston in "Omega Man." You ever see it? Beauty.
Doug: No way, eh. You're more like a one-man hoser.
Bob: Am not.
Doug: You're no Lord Stanley, eh.
Bob: Heh heh. That's fer sure. Ol' Canada's History could scare the shit out of a herd of moose like nobody's business, eh.
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Extreme, over-the-top, hyperbolic claims of sexual performance to compensate for impotence.
He told everyone how much he loved Canada's History — anytime anywhere — but when asked about the French and Indian War, he ran from the room, embarrassed.
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'Virgin Pussy'. No matter how fucked up a Beaver is, it was virgin some time back in history. Hence the slang
Steve: Your girlfriend is getting fat and ugly.
Pete: But I still remember her Canada's History
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Politely propositioning your southern neighbour, and then letting them have it with the butt end of your hockey stick... in the butt end.
Wayne Gretzky totally told Janet Jones Canada's History.
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