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One who computes.
Bob: What is your occupation?
John: I'm a computer. I solve math problems.
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what you are on right now (unless, of course, you're on an iPhone/iPad)
Guy 1: i went on urbandictionary.com today because i felt like looking up random shit.
guy 2: what did you look up?
guy 1: computer.
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how a majority of the people who post on here get dates.
dont deny it, its okay. its okkaaay babay i love u anwayaaaaayyyyaaaayyyaaayyy ayayayayayy ay ay ay as ya y y a y ast HAAANHHHH YEAAAAAAAh
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A computer is a device that can be instructed to carry out an arbitrary set of arithmetic or logical operations automatically. The ability of computers to follow a sequence of operations, called a program, make computers very flexible and useful. Such computers are used as control systems for a very wide variety of industrial and consumer devices. This includes simple special purpose devices like microwave ovens and remote controls, factory devices such as industrial robots and computer assisted design, but also in general purpose devices like personal computers and mobile devices such as smartphones. The Internet is run on computers and it connects millions of other computers.
Conventionally, a modern computer consists of at least one processing element, typically a central processing unit (CPU), and some form of memory. The processing element carries out arithmetic and logical operations, and a sequencing and control unit can change the order of operations in response to stored information. It also works for Porn and Torrent
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computer
What you are on right now. If you feel the need to look this up you must have brain damage
''What's a computer?''
''Uh I dunno. Let's go on UrbanDictionaryDOT COM and find out''
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a mystical device obviously run by elves, infected with dookfonkers (look up dookfonker)
who check it out a computer, hurry put on your dookfonker protectors
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-plural, contracts "Comp(s)"
-Hardware+Software
-Desktop or Laptop, new forms of hardware emmerge all the time
-What TV shows producers and academy awards ancient voting base(for Oscars) are too old and incapable to know anything more about than "where net is"
-Many thorough idiots think we should care to maintain our hardware, but it's a underdeveloped technology if it endangers itself just by being on(I'm talking dust, humidity and heat, the natural stuff that can damage your hardware over time)
-Are the future whatever they use next, be it another basic material, light or quantum comps, hell, your next console/PC/phone might work as a cloud computing platform. (consult OnLive)
-Every OS has its tricks/ways, cons and pros
-Experinced users can controll their system faster and more efficiently because they know their shortcuts, hotkeys and tricks
Current categorization by OS/pseudo-religion:
Windows = compatible with everything(malware), some releases are more buggy than others, every new Windows has several editions depending how much Microsoft wants to enforce security. Suffers from major obesity because it tries to support everything but then fails, some programs can crash, particularly if you have a 64bit version. Popular(piracy) and a gaming platform as well. BSOD appears (not only)when Hardware fails. The mainstream a reason why qwerty keyboards and mice w/o horizontal scrolling or 5 buttons still rule the lowend in 2011
(continuing cathegorisation of computers)
Mac = largely useless overpriced hipster lure/bling by company Apple that is known to freeze instead of BSODing. They sell it with the hardware THEY like. Objectively making OS X a 64bitwas smart choice. Some pros use it for safety purposes or exclusive programs. Their original mouse design reveals the tradition is clearly "designed for retards". Proof that TV industry is retarded and/or bribed by Apple. The cause of Applectomy. As its only game-suitable API is OpenGL, Valve is almost only company that loves money enough to release games on it. It's stable only because theres hardly any SW or HW for it and noone bothers to develop malware because it is effin niche.
GNU/Linux or just Linux = hacker/pro/server/safety stuff. It used to live in the wild, however some of it was corrupted and commercialized ages ago. Individual distributions of this OS have extra software by default, so in effect you meet this at places trying their best to be safe/cut costs. Has more control when using only keyboard than Windows ever tried. Low end hardware can run only Linux. It's not supported by Onlive or any games really(maybe because of weird control schemes and incoherent distributions getting in the way?). Niche as you can get without going ancient/completely unusable.
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