Gopher Dot

When a male or female squats over a sleeping partner’s forehead and commences to start gopher holing repeatedly until the juicy turd is extended out far enough to leave a small shit stamp on their partner’s forehead.

Only a true gopher holing master can accomplish this time treasured feat of intestinal strength.

There will be no gopher dot tonight. I had Taco Bell earlier. Too loose.

I woke up this morning and the random I hooked up with had left with no goodbye but I shortly saw in the mirror that he had said goodbye with a gopher dot.

Golden Gophered

Failing to deliver a shit in the toilet.

The Shit keeps poking its little head out but crawls back up into its hole.

I went to the bathroom, but I got Golden Gophered.

Spent 20 minutes on the can, but I was Golden Gophered.

gopher dick

The action of the head of the penis going in and out of the uncircumcised foreskin. See also circumcision. (verb)

I love to watch Vince's uncircumcised wang gopher dick!

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Sloppy Gopher

While having anal sex with a female or male, if you remove your penis to ejaculate on his or her back and they begin to shit themselves because of loss of control of their bowels, quickly shove your penis back up their ass to stop the shit from coming out. If done successfully, it should resemble a hairless gopher burrowing back into his hole.

"Dude i was fucking this chick up the ass last night and when i finished i had to give her a Sloppy Gopher to save the floor.

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Sober as a Gopher

A North-Central Missouri statement

To be so drunk that you can’t do anything. Just piss hammered out of your mind

“You alright?”
“Fuckin’ Sober as a Gopher”
“Yeah I thought so, go take a seat right quick”

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choking the gopher

A slang term meaning for a man to "jack-off" or "masterbate."

"OH MY GOD,that guy was totally choking the gopher when i walked in the room!"

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Whack the Gopher

While tapping a woman from behind, pull out your penis abruptly and jab it into her ass numerous times at random intervals. When she cocks her head back in surprise, whack her on the back of the head with your shoe.

I had to go to the Assaker house again last night. John's mom wanted me to play 'Whack the Gopher' with her again.

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