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one eyed heat seeking moisture missile

1. a penis, or cock if you will

Man, that little slutty bar chick over there needs my one eyed heat seeking moisture missile.

by Bud E Love May 14, 2003

11👍 10👎


Moisturizer

Legend has it if you don't moisturize daily, he'll slowly rub moisturizer and lotion on you... Leaving not a crevice of your body untouched by his cream. Going as far as taking your shoes off and rubbing moisturizer in between your toes... And sticking his stubby greasy fingers in your mouth, assuring you can taste the reminisce of lotion. Even if you manage to escape, he'll follow you. Watching... Waiting... And once you lay to rest, the last thing you'll hear before drifting off to a never ending sleep would be, "Moisturize your flesh. Feel it seep into your pores. Your skin will be dry no more." If you awake, your body will be covered in lotion, as it would be if you were to not escape originally. And if you weren't to moisturize your flesh again, you wouldn't be lucky to just have your skin rubbed with cream.

"creamy moisturizer man is coming"
"I want a divorce John."

by ToeCream69 September 8, 2023


Playground moisturizer

The worst insult to ever exist in the entire universe.

Omg it's that playground moisturizer person.

by mlemingshobe November 28, 2019


moisturize some elbows

the act or art of putting a fist in an anus or vagina (which requires great care and huge amounts of lubrication, thus "moisturizing").

Peter's annoying me so badly that I'm about to moisturize some elbows.

by ass istant December 13, 2009


Moisture Baby

A moisture baby is the off spring of a Moisture Pig or the smaller more athletic Swampy D. You can spot a moisture baby due To the fact there are usually 3-5 of them and most of them have different dads and live in a cramped apartment typically low income housing and run around like wild animals. The primary goal of a moisture baby it to become an exact duplicate of the Moisture Pig or the more athletic Swampy D.

Holy shit look at the number of moisture babies running around in the store.

My kid was attacked by a herd of moisture baby’s and almost died. Thank god he had good cardio he was able to run away, after tossing down a twinkie to distract them!

by Bshifters December 20, 2019


Moisture Daddy

Unlike the sugar daddy a Moisture Daddy is not older or wealthy, but has zero wealth and poor hygiene, Moisture Daddys typically weigh in at about 115-160 pounds, the best way to pick out a Moisture Daddy is they are typically small in stature and skinny. A moisture Daddy receives no benefits unlike the sugar daddy, they just take care of the Moisture Pig or the smaller more athletic Swampy D. The Moisture Daddy feeds them so they can continue to eat and sweat and sweat and eat. The Moisture Daddy is very loyal to the Moisture Pig and Swampy D, they will continue to feed them until they can no longer fit through a normal sized doorway.

That poor man must be a moisture daddy, because he has no idea of how large his spouse is!

This dude has to be a moisture daddy, look at all of the crappy food in his 3 shopping carts and he paid with a EBT card.

by Bshifters December 20, 2019


moisture claplets

The particulate aqueous cloud created by the impact of intercourse, sending a combination of all moisture particles into the air. Each cloud is a single moisture claplet.

I saw the moisture claplets float in the light of her bedroom window with every thrust.

by Le Mingus March 3, 2023