Academic Darwinism

Survival of the fittest, academically speaking. Differential scholastic success. Academic Darwinism encompasses the undertaking of doing of whatever it takes to ensure pedagogic success.

At B.B. High School, they prefer to call it Academic Darwinism.

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Academic Advisor

A faculty member of your university purportedly assigned to help students plan their course schedules to fit each student's degree and career plans but who are not required to know or provide accurate information regarding available courses, pre-requisites, required courses, course alternatives, etc. and often supply advice that ends up being detrimental to the student.

Side of "academic advising" include:

Taking one or more classes that are unnecessary and ending up taking 5 years to earn a 4 year degree.

Realizing 2 weeks before graduation that you could have graduated a semester early if it weren't for that "career exploration" class you took freshman year that your advisor recommended you take to "discover your calling" or "meet people in your major."

Realizing that those transfer credits actually could have transferred and you did not need to re-take that class.

My academic advisor said I had to take a full year of underwater basket weaving courses for my degree, turns out I don't and now I won't graduate this semester.

My advisor screwed me over, I'll never the mistake of taking his advice again.

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academic competition

Any competition directly relating to material learned in an academic environment that sends feelings of trepidation down one’s spine when mentioned, in which the participants are still attending some form of school attempt to show off their acquired knowledge.

Spelling Bee, Geography Bee, Math League, Knowledge Bowl, Knowledge Masters, Academic Triathlon, Robotics Team, Model United Nations, Intel Science Talent Search, etc … are examples of academic competitions.

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academic flirtation

When professors hit on their students in a non-creepy way, implying that they admire their spunk and hard-work and their students flirt back.

"What are you two doing wrong this time?" said Dr. Paul
"Nothing, we never mess up." his students said.

Dr. Paul walked away.

"Its so weird, he picks on us all the time. Its like academic flirtation."

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academic snobbery

When colleges don't want to accept credits from another college because they don't believe the other school is good enough, when what they really want, is just your money to take their courses.

I applied to A fancy college after going to a state college and they would only accept 19 of 80 credits due to academic snobbery.

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Academic Decathlon

Intellectual challenge whereby contestants:
1. Swim the English Channel while spelling all the words in the Oxford dictionary that start with the letter "E"
2. Rid a bicycle while reciting Ophelia's role from "Hamlet"
3. Run six miles wearing a graduation cap with tassel while singing old college drinking songs.
Winner gets to become a member of the Supreme Court.

I wonder if the Academic Decathalon will provide us with a conservative or a liberal?

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academically concluded

1. someone whose mind is closed off to accepting new data, because of a false conclusion they have accepted as fact.
2. A student with learning disabilities that they don't recognize or accept.

3. A sufferer of the Dunning Kruger effect.

4. a retard

Faculty member 1: That new student had a full scholarship and decided education was beneath his calling and dropped out.
Faculty member 2: It is for the best anyways, because he is academically concluded.

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