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Merry Christmas ⛄🎁❄ all you mistleHOES!! 💏🌿 I'm tryna be on that 🙈 good ish 🔯 but it's the 🙌 holla-day eve 🎄 and u best BELIEVE ✝⛪ it's bouta b 🌟 LITTY 🕎 Did u put dat ass 🍑 on the fat man's lap?! 🎅😏 or were you a naughty 😈 little elf this year??? 😝 Either way he's got a BIG 😍 package 🎁 for you to unwrap 👅🍆💦 Send 📲💕🔊 this text 🔔 to 5⃣ holly jolly ♥💚 hoes 😇 if you want their christmas 🎄 to sleigh!! 💁💅 If not ur stocking 🙀 won't get stuffed 💦💦 until next year!! ➡📆 If you get 🔟 back 📩⏪ you're santa's little slut! 😝😻🙌
Our Holiday better be A biddies’ Christmas
A christmas stomp is when someone dressed up as santa puts candy canes in a midget's mouth then curb stomps them.
Jerry: How did you straighten up the little fucker?
Phil: I gave him the good ol christmas stomp!
That song that's so catchy, everyone vibes to it
We played Carribean Christmas at the concert, and it was a banger!
When Santa or whoever your "Santa" is this year cums in your stocking. (may be either at the bottom or a little bit sprayed on top of the other stocking stuffers)
Jane: "Hey Stacey, what did Greg get you for Christmas this year?
Stacey: "Oh, a few things, but the best present was the christmas glue he left in on top of my stocking.
Jane: "Josh did the same thing but he left it at the bottom of the stocking"
Christmas stuff in general: decorations, wrapping paper, ornaments, and so on.
Take all that Christmas crap back to the basement!
The day off (fulfills paid holiday quota) that companies give their employees when Christmas falls on a Sunday
"Do you know if the business office at the phone company is open tomorrow or are they closed?"
"I think they are off just like we are, you know - Christmas Monday."
The act of growing a creeper-stache in order to scare children around Christmas time. (also works to frighten in-laws).
"Mommy Mommy...thats not Santa! He's SCARY!"
"Thats just some creeper with a Christmas Mustache, sweety..."