I have bad asthma
Sometimes you cough so bad your chest starts to hurt
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Because out of all the things that you could be bad at, you suck at breathing
A: Dude you suck at breathing
B: Yeah I've got asthma.
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A candition in which it is nearly impossible to breath. When you get a simple cough you have a 96% chance of actually dieing. It’s not fun
Consider your self very lucky if you don’t have asthma
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Imagine life except breathing is not an option.
Imagine life except when ever you dare try to run your lungs just say ‘aight Ima head out’.
Imagine life except you have to carry this little blue, green, purple or orange tube around that could potentially save your life at any moment.
Imagine life except whenever you’re on a school trip or in sport class you’re constantly grilled about having your medication.
Imagine life except you’re repeatedly called lazy for physically not been able to take another step.
There are a whole bunch of serious definitions here so go check those out, anyways, gotta go grab my inhaler for I have randomly started choking ✨✨
Guy 1: You good there buddy?
Asthmatic: -uncontrollable wheezing-
Guy 2: CATCH ME!
Asthmatic: -deep breath- just let me.. -breath- catch my.. -crackly breath- breath..
Asthmatic: -loud panting- could you please get my ventolin?
Guy 3: Is it this blue thingy?
Asthmatic: -pumping sound followed by an inhale- yes thankyou.
Teacher: Asthmatic’s name do you have your inhaler?
Asthmatic: No sorry I left it at home.
Teacher: Pink slip.
Asthmatic: BRUH.
Guy 4: Gosh, is it that hard to keep going? Stop been lazy.
Asthmatic: Sorry, is my inability to properly breathe right now of no concern to you? I have asthma dumbass.
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A condition that can exist any and everywhere therefore it’s the best excuse ever; you can literally use this shit for any and everything
“Dude what’s that on your neck and why are you limping”
-Looks at hickey and remembers falling up the stairs-
“Oh I got asthma in my knees”
“Sounds legit”
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A. A condition that causes people to be short of breath.
B. An excuse used by fat, lazy, smokers who really don't have asthma.
A. Bobby has asthma so he can't play soccer.
B. Paige- *Heavy Breathing* "Guys, wait...up..."
Sean- "Dude, are you okay?"
Paige- "Yeah, I just...have...asthma."
*silence*
Jane- "We've walked like two feet..."
Sean- "You're just fat and lazy."
Paige- "No, I smoke..."
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A serious condition for people!
Also a good use in gym class :-)
Something I don't have!
Girl 1- Man I had such a bad asthma attack last night!
Girl 2- Good thing you had that pump right!
OR
Girl 1- Oh for the love of God why we gotta run track for gym knowing that I have asthma.....
Boy 1- Oh wow that's pretty F'd up!
Gym teacher- (Girl) You don't have to run the track today but you have to jog on it!
Girl 1- Alright!
Boy 1- Oh sh!t..... Uh I have asthma to!
Girl and Gym teacher- STFU!
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