cannock

The land of opportunity in which a man can aquire most things easy, cheap and skanky.........and where a woman can acquire a child very easily before she reaches the age of sixteen.

Did ya bone er?......yeah man i pummelled like a beast........only sixteen an all.......fanny like a wizards sleeve!!! .........doubled up for a while, couldnt feel fuck all mate.

78👍 30👎

Cannock-Coffee

A clever means of avoiding an on-the-spot fine for drinking alcohol in a restricted zone; employed by ne'er-do-well's in Cannock, Staffordshire. 

To create a Cannock-Coffee, simply take a discarded Costa coffee cup and after ensuring it is empty, refill it with your favourite brand of super-strength lager. 

"Hey Ralph, fancy grabbing a couple of Cannock-Coffees and heading to the church gardens, once we've had this skag?" 

cannock rules

the ten commandments by which a man can live his life without becoming a fanny

until the phaff is wet, its anyones!!

9👍 5👎

Cannock Chase High School

Commonly known as "The Acedemy For Our Community", CCHS boasts a whopping 11% pass rate for their A-Level examinations, along with gum-infested underdesks, toilets that have cigarette air fresheners, and a management system similar to that of the Zimbabwe economy ministry.
Whilst the image of the school is more important to the headteacher (who shares a name with the protagonist of an advertisement for a certain cleaning product), the place doesn't seem more appetising to prospective students and parents alike than the rear end of a monkey. If said students should be enforced by their parents to attend, they will be successfully be transformed into rude, chavvy delinquents who will stand less chance of gaining qualifications than a hobo.

University interviewer: "So, where did you graduate from?"
Student: "Cannock Chase High School."
University interviewer: "Lolwut."

26👍 5👎

Cannock

Town marking the edge of the Cannock Chase. Just north of the bit of the UK God forgot about. Not too bad, but not the nicest place in the world.

Guy 1: You live in Cannock?
Guy 2: Yeah, go mountain biking every Thursday. Literally right outside my doorstep