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Alternate slang for the act of masturbation or "fapping" but using diarrhea as lubricant.
Jack N. Off: "Masturbating is getting too expensive these days. I can't afford KY."
Ijer Kit: "Start crap fapping. Diarrhea is free, isn't it?"
26👍 16👎
A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.
Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.
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To use the excuse of having to take a dump as an opportunity to masturbate
Josh: Hey I'll be right back; gotta poo.
Spencer: Heh, I bet he's doing a crap and fap.
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The act of taking a dump and then masturbating.
Greg, "Hey John you wanna hang today?"
John, "Yea man, I'll be over as soon as I do a quick Crap N' Fap"
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When on the john, taking a shit, you suddenly have the urge to masturbate. Prevalent in adolescent males.
I was taking a shit, then out of nowhere I got a boner and proceeded to crap n' fap.
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To Masturbate, poo, then rest. aka, the perfect afternoon.
"omg, what a day! All I want to do is get home so I can fap, crap & nap"
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Fap crap and nap comprises the three most important facets to a daily regimen. Masturbation, defecation and siesta. It should be performed in that order for maximum efficacy. It is often utilised by university students as a means to maximise brainpower where required.
Student 1: Mate class sucks today, I don't know how much longer I can endure it.
Student 2: Yeah bro might be time to ditch and hit that FCN.
Student 1: Yeah a fap crap and nap will definitely perk me up.
Both students receive high distinctions despite missing 2/3 of class for the semester.