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My father was a relentlessly self-improving lingerie salesman with low-grade narcolepsy and a panchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, make outrageous claims like he had invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. My childhood was pretty typical. Summers in Rangoon, louge lessons, in the spring we would make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At 13 I met an Austrian barber-surgeon named Wilma. She ritualistically shaved my testicles. There's nothing like a freshly shorned scrotum. It's breathtaking, you should try it.
Throw me a frikkin bone here, will ya?
Just kill that little bastard, see if I care.
746👍 81👎
You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here!
From the moment I heard Frau
Said I had a clone
I knew that I'd be safe
Cuz I'd never be alone
An evil dr. shoudnt speak alot about his feelings
My hurt and my pain don't make me too appealing
I'd hope Scott
Would look up to me,
Run the business of the family
Had an evil empire,
Just like his dear old dad
Give him my love and the things he never had
Scott would think
I was a good guy
returned the love I have
make me wanna cry
Be evil, but had my feelings too
Changed my life with Oprah and Mya Angelou
But Scott rejected me
C'est la vie
life is cruel,treat you unfairly
Even so, a God there must be
Mini Me, you complete me.
217👍 39👎
The funniest Belgian evil genius ever. Stars in the movies series of Austin Powers.
All I asked for was sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their heads!
Ow! You shot me you a-hole!
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A hell funny dude played by another hell funny dude, Mike Myers!
What's long and hard and full of seamen?
How bout NO, you crazy dutch bastard
F-R-I-C-K-I-N. I-D-I-O-T. With a frick frick here and a frick frick there. here a frick there a frick, everywhere a frick frick. Dr Evil had a sub, filled with FRI-CKEN IDIOTS!
Everyone in this sub who's not a frickin idiot, take one step forward. not so fast, everyone who is in this sub.
119👍 25👎
D to the
Rizzo
E to the
Vizzo
I to the
Lizzo
He's a crazy motherfucker.
Mini Me, stop humping the "laser".
102👍 37👎
Placing your pinky in your mouth with a smile after applying the shocker, as to taste the remnants.
After Phil was done with the girl, he came out of his room doing the Dr. Evil.
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An insane Scientist, Control-freak,
Beaurocrat, Engineer or Civil
Servant.
A scarey, Sinister and usually evil
Person, hell-bent upon Destruction
and Chaos.Often has utterly wicked
plans for World domination and/or
Conquest.
A harmless Iconclast or one who
disrespects Sacred Cows and
Institutions.
A Godless heathen or blaspheming
Heretic masquerading as a religious,
pious and devout Believer in
orthodox Neo-Judaic Christianity.
A person who likes pussycats or
feline creatures.
Any vegetarian Teetotaling Treehugger.
He is such a Dr Evil, but he means well.
19👍 38👎