Frost Cheeks

The instantaneous contact of a cold deserted toilet seat(often found in Modern public restrooms or outhouses) to your buttocks, causing a clenching feeling similar to bathing in a swedish tub of ice naked

Friend: "Dude, what took you so long? We've been waiting for half an hour now!"
Me: "While you relished your warmth of clothing, I was forced to suffer at the hands of Frost Cheeks."