gassperated

There is constipated and there is gassperated. Gassperated is quite a bit worse than constipated. Your whole chest hurts tremendously, you walk as if you have osteoporosis, and you are constantly clutching your belly.

And even as you are on the toilet, nothing comes out, not a sound, not even gas. You feel as if you need medical intervention.

"How did you like Suzy's continental breakfast yesterday ?"
"Dude, I'm still gassperated from it !"