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grasper

noun. A person who believes, argues, or attempts something that is impossible/improbable while under the false impression that it is possible/probable. A grasper might attempt to date someone out of his/her range or argue that his favorite team is going to win the championship despite not having done so in decades. Often, graspers meekly make self-serving arguments that stretch logic. Derived from the phrase "grasping at straws". Made popular originally in the DC area by WJKF's Sports Junkies.

1. Person A: "There's a good chance the Redskins win the Super Bowl this year with Rex Grossman."
Person B: "You are such a grasper."

2. That bar is filled with graspers trying to score with hot chicks.

by Grasper Parnevik March 19, 2011

5๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Grasper

Another word for "Molester" or "Pedophile" mainly used by people with high intellect.

"I think Uncle Larry is a Grasper. Last night he was standing in my doorway with his BallZach out!"

by SackLover42 October 7, 2020

1๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


shaft-grasper

One who subconsciously holds a bottle with both hands as though it is an erect penis.

Russell Brand commenting on host Mika Brzezinski during an interview on MSNBC's Morning Joe: "... the way you're touching that bottle... She's grasping for the shaft! She's a shaft-grasper."

by rmcanada June 19, 2013

43๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Shaft grasper

A shaft grasper is a woman inclined to holding on to the male organ with both hands. The shaft grasper is particularly obsessed with using the male sexual organ as some sort of symbolic status object. The longer she can hold on the better.
The shaft grasper is therefore not interested in providing relief of an ejaculatory matter, rather solely in maintaining the erect condition of the male organ and holding on for dear life. Shaft graspers are well known for gesturing their shaft grasping obsession with random objects like microphones, water bottles or other phallus like objects.
Shaft grasping is well known for causing blue balls.

Bob:"Did you see how Amy was stroking that water-bottle while talking to me?"
Tom:"Watch out bro she's definitely a shaft grasper"

by fruitbeer June 19, 2013

26๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


greedy grasper

Person in pot rotation that keeps trying to grab the bong and/or blunt.

Tom: Hey man! You wanna call Jack and see if he wants to smoke? Bill: No way! That guy is totally a greedy grasper!

by sedmond kuecl October 20, 2010


tree grasper

1. To grab a tree for sexual reasons.
2. To hump a tree.
3. Replacement of hands for a male.

This word has deranged from Basher, an American Citizen. It will be used all around the world.

Ryan is a tree grasper.

by Basher August 30, 2003

3๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


ball grasper

To grasp a persons balls of the same sex

To speak of ones name or speak of another male unconsistingly is ball grasping

Mr.dvst8 is a ball grasper

by can i live July 9, 2006

3๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž