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The act of teaching someone a lesson by sexually punishing them.
"Hoff me Scotty!"
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Verb, pertaining to David Hasselhoff.
To be Hoffed – to be sent homoerotic images of David Hasselhoff in questionable outfits/poses with various props/animals. Considered an extreme insult, the most common form of Hoffing is done through electronic mail although various new and inventive methods have recently been discovered. The first ever hoffing is said to have taken place in 1997 in the town of Heidelberg in Germany where David Hasselhoff is an extremely popular singer. According to urban legend, a young male high school student sent the David Hasselhoff calendar (if you have never seen this consider yourself lucky) to a girl he had a crush on in an attempt to woo her. The attempt backfired when the horrified girl choked on a chicken sandwich which she was eating whilst opening the calendar. The act of Hoffing has since spread from smalltown Germany to the mainstream claiming thousands of victims. Although not usually resulting in loss of life, a Hoffing can lead to severe psychological trauma, temporary loss of motor function and 9 times out of 10 it will affect the Hoffee’s up-chuck mechanism.
Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, FUCKK!!!!! I’ve been Hoffed again! I’ll never open my email again.
That guy is such a butt-fucking loser! I’m gonna send him a Hoffing he will never forget!
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noun, pertaining to David Hasselhoff
Common usage "The Hoff", implying that he is the original Hoff to which all other usages are derived.
Not contrained by his hit TV shows "Nightrider" and "Baywatch" or an obvious lack of acting, singing and modelling talent, The Hoff has become a post 80's email hit.
Clearly the act of "Hoffing" (see further definitions of hoff) has escalated in recent times. The quick and efficient medium of email has made this crime against humanity too easy and the Victims of Hoff & Hoff Related Emails Crime Unit (VOHHRECU) has seen a dramatic rise in Hoff related violence, psychosis, and even suicide.
Hoff related emails have also been on the increase. The Hoff's arch nemesis McGyver has started an emailing war, apparently enraged at The Hoff's born-again stardom. Other 80's B-grade celebrities also involved in the "coalition of The Hoff" in this war include Magnum P.I., Mr T, William Shatner and even the enigmatic Ingelbert Humperdink.
The whole concept of The Hoff is currently subject to parlimentary review and legislation is being considered to curb the disturbing trend of Hoffing.
In loser speak: "The Hoff is cool"
In teenage girl loser denial: "I love The Hoff and when I grow up, I'm going to marry him!"
In general terms: "Man, The Hoff is such a fag"
In Hoff related violent state: "Stop f*cking sending me f*cking Hoff emails. If you do it again I'm gonna cut rip your eyes out so I can make you watch as an overweight albino mountain gorilla soddomise your mum's still warm and twitching corpse!!!"
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General term of afeection used to describe the Hoff, aka David Hasslehoff.
Can also be used as a term of enderment for a close friend or companion
Hey, Hoff!!!
You, your such a Hoff.
Wow... Look! The Hoff!
Your hairy chest reminds me of the Hoff.
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To furiously scrub your skin, especially while bathing.
After getting a load of trash dumped on him while dumpster-diving, Pablo went home and hoffed at his skin for a good hour and a half.
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v. To Hoff
To participate in a rather crude and unusual form of torture often performed in the name of "fun". It is not clear whether this technique has been used in Guantanamo Bay or at Abu Ghiraib Prison, but it would certainly be considered contrary to the Geneva Convention.
Involves barely clad pictures of David Hasselhoff cavorting with animals and young children and guaranteed to put you off your Weetbix.
Hoffing is frequently practiced by young ladies (the Cheryls and Lisas of the world come to mind) who think it amusing to create discomfort, but end up causing severe psychological trauma in the process ...
If she hoffs me once more, I am going to puke...
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A guy who lives with his parents past the age of 40. He still dresses in all the latest high school styles, vapes, and rides around playing the latest hip hop mumble rap crap at high volume.
Claims to have multiple girlfriends yet his friends have not seen him date a girl since he was 17.
Look at the old creepy fucker talking about himself to the high school cheerleaders. He’s such a Hoff.
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