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A device that is used to find out if a person is lying. They need to ban lie detectors because they are not always right. Sometimes they say a person had lied when they really didn't lie.
49👍 11👎
A police baton. Draws a reference to the outdated practice of using a baton to filter the truth from a suspect.
"Deputy Dwane, get my alabama lie detector. Looks like we've got us a live one"
58👍 17👎
Ice water enema. Administered unsuspectingly - usually in a 2 gallon container maintained at 35 degrees Farenheit delivered through all weather tubing secured in place with a 6 inch, stainless steel barbed nozzle. Used exclusively when interrogating your loving partner about her smelling like cheap men's cologne and fresh semen after coming home at 2 AM.
My cheatin' wife thought I was a friggin' moron until I sweet-talked her into doggie style where I whipped out my Alaskan Lie Detector and showed her a new meaning to being a 'cold bitch' ... as we got to the truth of who she was fuckin'.
7👍 17👎
It's the built internal mechanism that reins in your ability to lie compulsively about your age, sex, hair colour, and/or location on the internet just becuase you can, some people have it, some people don't.
SkitZoe: I was playing elfquest online and I may have told silverkiss123 that I'm a fourteen-year-old emo abuse victim at which point he became very adamant about his love for me and determination to fly in from Belgium and rescue me. Do you think I can pull that off?
Internet Sociopath Lie Detector: That's a no, and now report immediately to church.
4👍 5👎
A practice used by cruel, corrupt, and heavy-handed police officers to force a confession. From the song "Tillamook County Jail" by Todd Snider: "I've got a lump on my head and boot print on my chest/from what the guys in here call the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test/Well I did my best/but it's a tough test not to fail"
Tillamook County is in Oregon, of course.
1st Heavy-handed pig with huge, hairy, pussy-tickler mustache. "Found this hippy hitch-hiking on I-5."
2nd Heavy-handed pig, "Well, administer the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test, and we'll have him confess to vagrancy, illegal trespassing, resisting arrest, and armed robbery. And we'll check the files for any unsolved crimes we can have him confess to."
6👍 2👎
That huge gray plastic barrel at the curbside in which you mindlessly threw out the nice gift that the child down the street worked so hard to create for you. Said innocently-trusting youngster then happens upon said container before the trash-man has carted it away, of course his tenderly-impressionable eyeballs observe said callously-discarded gift, which of course painfully marks him for life and shows him what a shameless lying a**h**e you actually are to have praisingly told him how much you appreciated his gift and all the work he'd gone through to create it for you.
Here's how to avoid having your Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector make mincemeat of your stellar reputation with the neighborhood children. First, be sure to prominently-display anything they give you --- such as paper-artwork or a clay sculpture --- inside the front room of your house for at least two or three weeks, so that if the young creators of said "masterpieces" happen over to visit, they will always have their happy pride of your appreciation re-affirmed by seeing their "treasured gifts" still visible for all to see. Then after maybe a month or so, try moving the exhibits further along down the wall or into another room, so that if a child happens to notice the absence of his creation in its "customary" spot, you can just hastily show him that you have merely moved it, but that you do indeed still have it on display. Then, if the youngster doesn't comment any more on the object's absence during subsequent visits or go to the other spot to look at it, you can safely assume that he has lost interest in said object, and so you can then put it away in a desk drawer or someplace else hidden, but where you can still hastily retrieve it again if necessary. Then if there is still no reference to said object within a couple more weeks, THEN AND ONLY THEN can you probably safely discard the item, BUT ONLY IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT RISK THE CHILD'S SEEING IT... don't just toss it "openly" into a trash can where it can easily be seen by anyone just moseying by!