Masturbasplaining

When you get caught masturbating trying to explain that you weren't actually masturbating.

Sound coming out of closed bedroom:"bzzzzzz....oooh ahhh red uhhhh!" Man:"Hon what's that noise?Are you masturbating again?" Woman:" No no! It's my neck massager I swear!" Man:" Sooooo.... You've got a clitoris on the back of your neck?" I think you're just Masturbasplaining