Pap Scratching

Adj: A moment in time whereby a member of the unwashed masses will begin to furiously rub themselves against a female's "lady bits" quite often leading to friction burns or a possible fire hazard. This episode will inevitably lead to a pap smear to rule out possible infectious agents.

Joanne: God i've an awful case of the pap scratchings
Deedee: Would you like me to rub some ointment on the affected area?