Prestonbanoochie

Where do I even begin? A Prestonbanoochie is a strong-willed, Mickey Mouse drinking, buzz-cut sporting person. A Prestonbanoochie usually lives in a basement, and boy do they like their mirrors. You'll usually find a Prestonbanoochie sitting in his school's dining hall 13 hours a day. What are they doing? Don't ask me, ask your local Prestonbanoochie.

"Bro, did you see that Prestonbanoochie in the dining hall just now?"
"He's still there? I saw him 9 hours ago!"