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A myth perpetuated by the evil to prevent the innocent from enjoying one of life's most simple pleasures.
An Innocent Person Who Has Done No Wrong: Awesome I'm gonna eat this cookie dough!
Satan: No, you'll get salmonella.
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a disease contracted by reptiles that spreads easily to humans. its not good to keep small reptiles around children. do not let them put the reptiles in their mouths. also, you need a protected cage for small reptiles with salmonella, because it can easily seep out and be contracted by humans. small reptiles are illegal in the united states because salmonella was contracted by many americans in the 1970s. DO NOT LET REPTILES WITH SALMONELLA BE PURCHASED! especially if they are not sold through a certified pet store.
"Becky, don't lick the small turtle or else you will contract salmonella"
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The outcome after fishing for salmon with nilla wafers.
Man 1:I don't feel right.
Man 2:why?
Man 1:I got the salmonella.
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Something that doesn’t exist to some people
dumb girl: “OMG! Just had medium rare chicken for da first time!!!! tasted so good.”
smart person: bxtch you can’t eat that you’ll get salmonella
dumb girl: “HOW DO U KNOW?!!! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE HOW I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE🤬”
a breed of cross-dressing salmon that now go by the name "ella". despite their proper upbringing as male salmon, they now prefer that you refer to them as Salmonella.
chuck: "check it out dude i caught a SALMONELLA!"
bob: "how the flying shit did you do that chuck?!"
chuck: "easy, fished in the sluttiest part of the reef. ;)"
bob: "niiiice, high five man!"
Lief Erickson: "Tharr she blows! Give me the net and let me catch some of this grade A salmonella. hinguh dinguh durrhen!"
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A very rare but feircley aggressive multi-condensed DNA gene that can be contracted threw close physical/sexual contact with the breeding organs aka: genitals of a dyslexic salmon with missing chromozones, once sexual penetration has been breached with the downsyndrome dyslexic salmon you will acquire salmonella
salmonella will change your DNA and turn you into a homosexual, if already a homo you will become a transvestite or a parking inspector
Oi bily ya risky fuck wit don’t put your cock in that retarded fish or youll get salmonella
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Salmonella : where you eat raw chicken your aunt Margret cooked.
Salmonella: your aunt Margaret cooked it.
“ Dinneres ready “
‘Coming aunt Margret’
‘ ew ! This chicken looks raw.. are you sure you cooked this correctly?’
“ Yes Kate, eat up”
Day later
✨ vomit everywhere ✨
‘Aha ! I knew this wasn’t cooked. I’ll be telling Margret about this. ‘