syrupboarding

One of the many forms of torture used by the Canadian government in the interrogation and punishment of prisoners. Syrupboarding (called "maple syrup torture" in the 16th century and used to test the witchiness of witches) involves holding a person down in a vat of 100% pure Canadian maple syrup. The syrup makes it impossible to breathe and the person feels as if they are about to drown; simultaneously, the thick, viscous sweet fluid constantly bombarding their senses slowly brings them to gustatorial ecstasy. In the end, the prisoner experiences wildly contradictory feelings of panic and bliss, thus freaking them out to the extent that they will do just about anything to avoid more delicious, delicious torture.

The RCMP uses syrupboarding to promote democracy worldwide.

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Syrupboard

(action: syrupboarding) An unknown Canadian torture method similar to waterboarding, however Maple Syrup (or Aunt Jemima) is used in place of the water.

When Susan found her Husband was cheating, she threatened to syrupboard him and his mistress.