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A 60-90cm tall human who has exited the “aaaaw” phase and entered the “awfuuuuuuuck” phase. Generally have no respect or regard for anything and unwittingly forces its parents into alcoholism. They don’t sleep, don’t eat food, however they do have a nak for interior design using simple tools such as crayons, lipstick and eyeliner. They are the second most common cause of hypertension and first most common cause of liver serrosis. toddler
Shit Jim, you look like you’ve had a bender this morning! “ don’t be silly Cheryl, I got totally toddlered last night, the little bastard didn’t sleep until 2am” toddler
123👍 3👎
the only age where your allowed to go to the washroom of the opposite gender and not be seen as a creepy pervert
that toddler was staring at me from the other washroom stall, but its fine! its not like he'll remember...
10 years later... * flashback "so THATS what that thing under her skirt is!"
Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. Prone to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
"Do you think you'll have more children?" "Well, even if I survive my two toddlers, FUCK No!" (Did I just say that out loud?) "Chloe, don't repeat that at grandma's!"
504👍 112👎
the act of making someone look like a toddler. Most commonly associated with FIFA when one player dribbles another player's defence, or scores a very nice or fancy goal
Damn, my skills made your defence look like a bunch of toddlers
202👍 81👎
1. A child between the ages of 1 and 3.
2. Someone who can not walk very well.
your grandpa is a toddler.
107👍 56👎
A state of drunkeness when you can't speak coherently, lose control of your bladder and/or bowels, can't hold your own head up, and generally need someone to take care of you and babysit you.
Last night Johnny got toddlered.
Tiny little meat sacks built to punt across rooms.
Sara: want to see the little snot I pad flesh sock kid I popped out of me?
Average real humans: no Sara *kicks flail meaningless body across the foyer.*
Toddler
9👍 2👎