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The Geo Archon, broke but extremely skilled, aka "Daddy"
People often wonder how could a Geo character apply the "wet" status, especially to people in real life.
A Poem and Chant written to summon Zhongli:
Oh twink lord barbatos please make Zhongli come home to me
May the winds of the anemo archon guide him home
Oh shiny tartaglia make zhongli come home to me
May your waves guide him along the wind
Oh beautiful keqing make zhongli come home to me
May your storm lead the way
Oh queen ningguang make zhongli come home to me
May your rocks build the path
Oh zhongli please come home
May the geo archon finally come back
All Mighty Adepti of Cloud, Moon, and Mountains, steady our hearts to prepare
The Geo Archon's Arrival
Amen
Arianna: Dude, Zhongli's so hot!
Noelle: I know! I swear I'm gonna get him.
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A man claiming to be the funeral consultant of the wangsheng funeral parlor, but is actually a delicious dragon god with the fattest ass in gaming history. His magical schlong, when summoned, is able to kill enemies, giving him the nickname of big dong zhong or schlongli.
Most times he defeats gods just by standing there ,watching his enemies nut to death because he’s so sexy. His sex appeal will have you on your KNEES and vomiting your entire life savings. Your life now REVOLVES around him. He is your god now.
It doesn’t matter that he’s a senior citizen on life support who commits embezzlement, you have peepaw issues and gilfs are hot.
Metaslave: “Bro Zhongli sucks, he barely does damage.”
Enlightened Zhongli simp: “Bitch have you seen that big dick and fat ass? He’s getting more pussy than anyone in the game. So, Mihoyo nerfed him to balance it out.”
Metaslave: “Oh shit yeah...now I kinda wanna suck him off ngl.”
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the sexiest man alive who is lacking mora in his pockets
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a sexy geo god who has the power to take anyones man or girl at any time, no matter how good you think you look it’s always zhongli > everyone
some guy: my girl just broke up with me
other guy: is it because of big ball geo daddy zhongli?
some guy: yeah
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His pillar can definetly strike your ass, it would probably hurt but dw he's a gentle man 😩‼️
Person 1: My ass hurts cuz of Zhongli
Tartaglia: ikr like...ow
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Zhongli, Morax, Xiangsheng or the Geo archon.
The Archon with the Fattest and Thickest ass Ever, ass so thick he can obliterate the whole existence of Liyue with that damn ass. Childe is one lucky man he can work with the Almighty Morax, Zhongli is also one fine man and quite a Gentleman.
Hey do you know Zhongli?
"Oh the one who works at a funeral parlor?"
Yeah he has a rlly thick ass 😍
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