Caird

Swedish motor car driving individual of ambiguous sexual orientation with delusions of grandeur and a seriously small wang.

From the Celtish “Cair” meaning he of the small implement.

Look at that guy in the Saab, what a caird.

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Birthday Caird Pish

Scottish response to someone being soppy/sentimental to remind them that showing heartfelt emotion isn't allowed.

Victor: *talking to his dead wife at her grave*

Jack: You're a creepy bastard. Talking to Betty as if she's still here.

Victor: She is still here! In ma heart!

Jack: Birthday caird pish!