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Often created by sad bastards who have nothing better to do with their lives, chain letters usually threaten to do horrible things to you if you don't re-send them to x amount of people within x minutes of receiving them. If you follow the instructions within the given chain letter, then a myriad of wonderful things will happen to you. In order to convince the recipient of the chain letter's power, they commonly incorporate the phrase: "Dis iz so scari cos it actualli werks," or something along those lines. (It may be worth noting, however, that the majority of chain letters' origins lie with illiterates, so they seldom have any grammatical value and can prove very difficult to understand.) Inevitably, the other sad bastards who receive the chain letter believe this crap, and re-send it to all their friends...that is, if they have any...
An 'Illiterate-speak to English' translated chain letter:
"You will have the best day of your entire existence tomorrow if you send this to 1241234234.9238429387423 x 10³ and a half other people within the next 3.3482349872 recurring minutes. Then press F4, F6; hold down Num Lock with your left testicle; press alt three times, with tenuto on the last tap; hit Caps Lock with staccato, with a time signature of 6/8 for the first two bars, then 16/12 for the remaining bars; press Esc. to the rhythm of 'Silent Night'; play the bassline from Beethoven's 5th Symphony in the key of Ab major on the wire of your mouse, with pizzicato throughout; stand on your nose and recite pi in binary. Then, your name, but in Icelandic, will appear on the screen in the font 'Comic Sans'. This is quite frightening because it actually works. If you don't resend this then your Maths teacher will sneak into your room at 12.03 tonight whilst you are asleep and stick photographs of his phallus over your eyes with superglue, so that will be the first thing you see when you awaken in the morning. If you are still awake at 12.03, then he will come out from underneath your bed, chop you up into cubic centimetres and then put you into his geometry set with some kangaroo crap that he measured earlier. Then, you'll get AIDS from a rabid dog that's addicted to crack - who actually mistook you for a schizophrenic next door neighbour - and die from leprosy because Mahatma Gandhi teleported you to Iraq; then to the Vietnam War, which was, incidentally, where Saddam Hussein was having a homosexual encounter with Bin Laden, and George Bush was co-existing with fish and putting food on Al-Qaeda's families (and genitals). When you're dead, a random Goth will tear himself away from his BDSM orgy that he was engaged in with an array of farmyard animals and come to your funeral in his hearse. Here, he will shit on your grave: 'Uhh, that's better!'"
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a form of demoralization by recieving a letter that must be sent to many friends in order to have good luck. people will customarily test this theory, by trying to send it to their friends, then finding out they don't have any.
Friends don't let friends give friends chain letters.
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A very stupid thing which demented sadists write for their own amusement. Appears in the form of an email, "real" letter, or Youtube comment. Usually goes something like this:
Ef u dn't snd this lettr to 20 mor pple then you'r (mom will die/ balls will be cut off/ you will turn gay) at mdnite tonite LOL ROFL!!!!!
Only horribly stupid people follow these, while intelligent people ignore them. Really intelligent people track down the people who right the letters and kill these people with a lawnmower and a pogo stick.
Stupid person: "Oh no's! I just read a chain letter in me email and if me doesn't copy it an' send it to twenty other extremely stupid people, then my mommy will go bye-bye!"
Smart person: "You are a very stupid person."
Stupid person: (Glues foot to forehead) "What?"
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A chain letter is one of the most annoying text walls ever.
Most of these start out with a short story,
(Translated from illiteracy)
In 1964(or some shit like that) a girl named (Insert WTF?! Name Here) was (insert deus ex machina here) by (Another WTF?! name) while she was (doing something).
Then do a repost or die.
If you don't send this to (variable) people in (time period), she will kill you with (whatever). If you do, you will be awarded.
These are most common on MySpace because of it's unmoderated bullshit.
In 1829, a gurl namd Haraballius wus wlking on a lke when a man named Tradadallah W.T. Fuck raped her to death. If you dont sent dis chain letter 2 38 ppl by the end of 1408, u will b killd by Haraballius. if u do, u willb re-wrded with coton candee reign.
CHAWKLIT REIGN, SOME STAY DRY AND OTHERS FEEL THE PAIN, CHAWKLIT REIGN
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A piece of superstitious text that is more like bullshit than bullshit itself. People who believe in Chain Letters are either very religious or very superstitious. (Seriously, these FuckHeads have no fricken lives!)
Chain Letter - "Send this letter around to 50 people and you will be kissed by the love of your life tomorrow! If you don't a man will appear by your bed tonight and slit your throat" What a load of Crap!
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Something created to scare people by telling them something bad will happen if they don't send it to the desired amount of people. It is sent on by stupid vunerable people.
A recent example:
Sorry dont open in front of parents 5 ppl acually got killed by not sending this this piece of mail the creator of this mail has a program that will track down everyone who sent this and whoever that didnt send this will die cuz this program can actually track down ur address Send this to 15 people
no send bks
(How does the writer know that it has killed 5 people before he/she has even sent it?)
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Once in a while I want to thank all the people in the US who have taken the time and trouble to send me their email chain letters all year round.
Actually I want to thank them for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of their concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. In fact, I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be surprised by Anthrax powder. Nor do I attend movies any longer for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since the delivery people are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I always wear rubber gloves when opening my mail in order to avoid the deadly Klingerman virus that starts out with severe dysentery. I never keep my car windows open at a stoplight for fear of a Spunkball that would be thrown inside that could cause a large, deadly fire.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to them, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (I don't remember that in the Bible.) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. Yes, I want to thank all of them soooo much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If they don't send another e-mail chain letter to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on their heads head this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician! Honest!
Send another chain letter and you will be blessed!
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