cowmaster

When someone is fat, lazy and so full of flatulence their entire existence is substantially similar to a cow. And because a human has free will and is master of his/her domain, he/she transmogrifies into the cowmaster. The cowmaster is free to consume all things and contribute zero to society until he/she dies a gluttonous death.

"Look at that cowmaster! Holy crap!!! Sitting in a lawn chair, ice cream cone in one hand and slice of pizza in the other, watching as his wife uses a push mower to cut the front yard".