Crap and Fap

To use the excuse of having to take a dump as an opportunity to masturbate

Josh: Hey I'll be right back; gotta poo.

Spencer: Heh, I bet he's doing a crap and fap.

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Crap N' Fap

The act of taking a dump and then masturbating.

Greg, "Hey John you wanna hang today?"

John, "Yea man, I'll be over as soon as I do a quick Crap N' Fap"

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crap n' fap

When on the john, taking a shit, you suddenly have the urge to masturbate. Prevalent in adolescent males.

I was taking a shit, then out of nowhere I got a boner and proceeded to crap n' fap.

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Crap Fap

Alternate slang for the act of masturbation or "fapping" but using diarrhea as lubricant.

Jack N. Off: "Masturbating is getting too expensive these days. I can't afford KY."
Ijer Kit: "Start crap fapping. Diarrhea is free, isn't it?"

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Crap Fap

A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.

Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.

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