crumpler

A technical term used in the toilet paper industry to describe a person who crumples the toilet paper into a ball before cleansing themselves. Opposite of a folder.

Man 1: How do you wipe your ass?
Man 2: Oh, I'm a crumpler.

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crumpler

A chick that is so extraordinarily hot you literally crumple in awe when you lay eyes on her.

Dude I met this chick that was so hot I couldn't believe it, she was a total crumpler

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crumpler

n. (krum-pler)

A very sweet, sexy move that the ladies are sure to enjoy. Simply put: the ring and pinkie fingers in the butt hole, the index finger in the vagina. Its way more pleasurable than the shocker (so I've heard) because it leaves your index finger free to flex and gives some serious backdoor penetration at the same time.

"I hit that girl with the crumpler last night and she loved it!"

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Crumpler

A sexual act that simulates 'crumpling' your girl. It it performed by putting the female's legs over the male's shoulders then inserting the penis into any orfice. Next the male 'walks' up onto his toes so that the only body parts touching the bed or floor are his toes and the back of her head. If performed right it should resemble an act of rape.

I met this nice political activist bitch last night and didn't agree with her views so when we got back to my place I put her in the crumpler.

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Alge Crumpler

The vagina of an 83 year old woman.

Your grandma has a dusty Alge Crumpler.

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Alge Crumpler

1. Said in dismay when something too easy gets completely screwed up.

2. When you're not paying attention to your surroundings and are completely taken by surprise.

Used along with "Oh God.." for maximum effect.

Origin: On the NFL Network, Deion Sanders coined the phrase. Michael Vick had Alge Crumpler wide open, no one within 15 yards of him. Vick instead begins to throw the ball short, and Deion exclaims, "Oh God..Alge Crumpler!"

<Mike> Sorry I can't stop farting, man..

*2.1 seconds later, whiff of funk pierces Jim's mind*

<Jim> Oh God...Alge Crumpler!!

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hairy crumpler

Verb

To feel needlessly butt hurt by crass social banter

amy: you're such a queer
harry: I'm gunna cry me a river then go police the interweb
amy: what the fuck is your malfunction you degenerate hairy crumpler? sack up