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disasturbating

Disasturbating: To revel in doom-mongering predictions about the future of mankind. A particular predilection of left-leaning environmentalists who claim we are but 30 years away from living in Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road', without radical change that is diametrically incompatible with how people actually want to live, and that is completely futile at the individual level anyway. There's also a right-wing version that thinks gay marriage and universal healthcare will somehow bring about the end of days.

"Oh my God, Peak Oil! Polar Ice Caps melting! Unchecked population growth! Stockpile canned goods and a shotgun, the apocalypse is coming!"
"FFS, stop disasturbating."

by OnlyMe! November 8, 2013


Disasturbate

When your life is so shitty, all you can do is masturbate in sorrow and self-pity.

"What happened to Luke the other day?"

"I don't know man, but it must be pretty horrible - he just went to the other room to disasturbate."

by kOrEAn Bbq May 9, 2013

22๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Disasturbate

Masturbating during a natural or otherwise any disaster.

The tornado is coming, I better disasturbate so I can too.

by Jawsh00 June 25, 2015


disasturbation

(n) term used to describe when pleasuring oneself ends tragically with an unfortunately timed interruption

"I was jacking off and my cat jumped on my lap right before i came. It was a terrible disasturbation session."
"Then a couple days later, my mom decided to barge into my room to wake me up as i was cranking it under my sheets. I disasturbated twice this week."

by systemofanup June 19, 2010

9๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


disasturbation

Masturbation...with disastrous results.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

by cakeofages August 25, 2008

42๐Ÿ‘ 19๐Ÿ‘Ž


disasturbation

To masturbate during a disaster, or when normal masturbation turns disastrous.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

by eosbnnaarsh November 8, 2011


disasturbation

The act of masturbation with such ferocity that you actually rip your penis off.

"Dear god - I have ripped my own penis off. I must tell no one about this distasturbation mishap."

by jason November 20, 2004

27๐Ÿ‘ 24๐Ÿ‘Ž