frezzer

The young and naive may believe that a frezzer is simply a freezer with a typo. The daft and dumb may believe that a frezzer is bad hair-do from the fifties. If you fall into one of these categories it is okay, for soon you will be saved. Below is everything and everything you would ever want to know about the frezzer.
In the age of post-structuralism, Western society was in a constant quandary. Often questions were being tossed around along the lines of: "Do I really want a fish sandwich, because I do not know the true meaning of it?" and "What is oatmeal cookie chip ice cream? Which is more important, the oatmeal or the chip? You need to have both for the ice-cream, so how can you know?", etc.
One sexy night, a man named Leon Phelps came up with a solution, a way to have it all and not a single worry. He invented ... the frezzer.
Imagine a magic eight ball. Now imagine a cooler. Now imagine a poodle. Forget the poodle, but combine the magic eight ball and cooler. Voila, uno frezzero.
A frezzor deals with all your food-related woes. Do you ever wonder if you cannot handle the salinity of bovinity divinity? Just ask your neighborhood frezzer for a helping hand.
Frezzers became extremely popular in the post-structuarlist era, yet they did not do too well on the market due to a recall two weeks after production due to a few frezzers with "attitude problems".
You may find one at a local novelty store, or java babies.

"Ask not what you can do for your frezzer, but what your frezzer can do for you"
"I take the salt from my wounds and put them in my frezzer-arita"

17👍 13👎