Fucked a monkey

1. a) To do something inadvertently that causes catastrophic events. b) To unknowingly create an epidemic.

Guy 1: "Dude some girl puked in the fryer at my Mcjob today"

Guy 2: "Damn she really fucked a monkey"

Guy 1: "No kidding, no one got fries for the rest of the day"

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Fucked The Monkey

To perform a slight error that unwittingly caused horrible, catastrophic level events

reference to: the widely-believed myth that AIDS began after someone fucked a monkey, caught the disease and then spread it through mankind.

A: "so I was writing a dirty email to my girl and accidentally sent it to my boss, her husband found it on her phone, thought she was cheating, and killed her and himself, now the company is folding and 400 people are without work and since this is a private hospital it's leaving 1000 patients without care....."

B: "dude, you fucked the monkey"

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Fuck the monkey

To be the start of something horrible. The cause of something devastating.

Judy is pissed at me for giving her a computer virus, but someone sent it to me first. I didn't fuck the monkey.

The world now has AIDS because somebody fucked the monkey.

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Fucking the Monkey

To take control of a situation in an assertive way

So an executive walks into an office filled with his subordinates who are screwing around. He asks "who the hell is fucking the monkey in here?"

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Fuck a monkey

1. An exclamation of frustration
2. An exclamation of awesomeness
3. A dismissal
4. To totally suck at something
5. Something you say when there's nothing else to say
6. To have sexual intercourse with a primate

1. "Why won't this thing work??? Argh, fuck a monkey!"
2. "How 'bout that GWAR concert last night?" "Fuck a monkey, that was awesome!"
3. Dumbass walking in on conversation: "You like GWAR??? You guys are sickos!" Guys: "Oh, go fuck a monkey!"
4. *Awkward silence* "Fuck a monkey!"
5. "Man, I fuck a monkey at this!"
6. "I gotta go to the zoo and fuck a monkey."

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fuck a monkey

1. A general exclamation of frusration.
2. An angry dismissal.

1. "This computer won't work! argh, fuck a monkey!!!
2. Guy 1: "god, your such a dumbass," Guy 2: "Oh, fuck a monkey!"

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Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.