libergenda

A term meaning conspiracy that causes an overtly irrational fear of humanistic advancement. However, no such conspiracy actually exist.

The resulting irrational behavior effects roughly 25% of a given population, with the majority of those being conservatively minded. When excessive exposure to the term is imminent, those susceptible to its effects can protect themselves with the application of a tin foil cranial barrier, rubber boots and a safety pin, (American made boots provide better protection). Under certain circumstances no protection can be afforded resulting in a condition known as libergenditis. A list of those that may be susceptible follows.

If you engage in, are a member of or can answer yes to at least three questions on the following list, you are susceptible and may be at risk of contracting libergenditis. Be sure to answer truthfully, as the computer will know if you are lying or not. If you are not sure, check with the pastor of your local parish, return and then continue. If you are still not sure, skip to the next question:

1. NRA
2. Tea Party
3. Republican
4. Do you watch Fox News?
5. Do you have home-schooled child/children?
6. Have you attended a town hall meeting?
7. Do you know what the 700 club is?
8. Is Chuck Norris awesome?
9. Is McGuyver Awesome?
9. Dolly Pardon, Daisy Duke or Pamala Anderson?
(For question 9. Circle Yes or No, a grease pencil will suffice. Warning: Do Not Use A Sharpie!)
10. Do you now or have you ever attended church during a weekday?
11. Were the words used in this definition of the word libergenda too engaging for you?
12. Did you not understand the above question?
13. Is the number thirteen bad?
14. Beyond reproach, Glen Beck?
15. Beyond reproach, Rush Limbaugh?

Jimbo: "Jeff, whatfer I cant come to them meet'ns in town?"

Jefferson: "I done told you Jimbo... the pastor's gonna be goin over them folks 'libergenda' and them word is to big fer you to undestand.

Jimbo: "auh shucks almignty!"

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