market

An area or arena in which commercial dealings are conducted.

"Let's get that bread," George said as he took his first steps into the crowded market.

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market

Shortened form of 'Blackbush Market', a market held on Sundays in a village in hampshire.

Blackbush referring to a woman who has incredibly dark pubic hair.

Blimey, I bet she has a lovely market!

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Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition

See Above for the example

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marketing

Origin unknown. Purpose unknown. States the obvious, accepts all credit, rejects all blame.

An increasingly common plague found in the work place which causes annoyance and despair in other co-workers. Thrives on board-meetings, dependent on company mobile phones, Outlook, and a considerable yearly budget with no questions asked on how its gets pissed up the wall on nothing. Able to speak but prefers to do any communication through email which is the sole purpose of computers.

Uses any opportunity to voice their opinions and set policy on matters which are none of their concern and to which they have knowledge of. Usually the bane of any Web-Developers existence.

Able to plan projects perfectly without any of the minor concerns such as development or implementation.

Curiously, all Marketing plague-people start as a Manager. There is no lower position available although there is never actually anyone to manage.

see above for example. Be wary of any person who says they are "Marketing". Lose all hope when dealing with a "Marketing Consultant".

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Marketeer

A portmanteau of the words ‘Marketing’ and ‘Buccaneer’, created by Brand Managers in an attempt to make them sound more dynamic.

Bob “I ran into Dwain Dibbley the other day.”
Mike “Really, so what’s he up to these days?”
Bob “Apparently he’s a Marketeer for MegaGlobal Corp.”
Mike “Well; he always was an unimaginative, spreadsheet licking twat!“
Bob “For sure.”

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marketing

Bull Shit with fine print.

(XYZ printer): Prints at 80 pages per minute! (The fine print: 80 pages per minute is achieved by placing one letter 'A' at 12 pitch type, in the middle of the page)

In marketing, there is no such thing as a 'lie', only exaggerations!

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Marketable

A female or male that is extremely hot and could be used in underwear advertisement.

Me: Bro, that chick I took home from the bar last night is hella marketable.

Bro: Word!

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