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Daytime "talk" show hosted by TV personality Maury Povich. Topics are limited, but incredibly entertaining, specifically paternity tests. Only show topics ever done nowadays are-
1) - Paternity Tests
The best! See you are not the father
2) - Cheaters Revealing Secrets
If your significant other wanted to bring you on the Maury Show to reveal a "deep secret", what the hell do you think it is? Geez!
3) - Cheaters Denying Cheating
Maury: Lashawn, we asked you if you had sex with 40 women since you have been with Nykesha. You said 'no', the lie detector test determined that was a lie, it was actually 125.
Nykesha: You done! Dat's it! You out! Get out my house!
Lashawn: Dat test iz wrong! I ain't nevah cheated!
4) - Fat Babies
Jenny: My son is 2 years old and weighs 115 lbs. I feed him Snickers, Ho-ho's, steak, chicken, whatever he wants! He's my child and I'ma raise him!
5) - I Used to Be Ugly...
Maury: Joe, do you remember Cecila?
Joe: Yeah, she was the ugliest girl in school
Maury: Well, she's changed alot since then, look at her now!
*Cecila, tummy tuck, boob job, 2000 lbs. of makeup and all comes out and dances seductively for the crowd
Cecila: I'm hot and sexy now though the miracles of 40 plastic surgeries!
6) - My 10 year old is out of control!
Mom: Maury, you have to help my daughter!
Daughter: I'm only 10 years old and I do what I want. I swear, drink, and steal. I even kicked my mom in the head once! Nobody tells me what to do!
Mom: *sobs*
Crowd: Boooooo!
Daughter: Whateva! Whateva! Y'all don' know me! Y'all don' know me!
Maury: Guess what? You're going to boot camp!
Crowd: Yayyyyy!
Big Black Guy (to daughter): Sit down! Shut up! Apologize to your mother now! Shut your mouth! *yell, yell yell*
Daughter (2 days later): I'm so sorry Mom *sob* *sob*, I love you!!
The Maury Show is a guilty pleasure.
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on the show...
big dawg: that baby dont look nothing like me.
myesha: he yours, u're the only guy i'ev slept with.
maury: big dawg, you are NOT the father
big dawg: dumb ass bitch! what did i tell you. you need to keep your legs closed, biatch. i'm outta here.
myesha: (sob) (sob)
maury: dont cry myesha. i know you've slept with so many men. i would help you find the father. who's next on your "men i've slept with" list?
myesha: #43. jamal, but i think he's in jail. (sob)
maury: dont worry myesha, i would get him on the show.
I watch the maury show anytime i wanna feel like a retard.
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A daytime talk show in which individuals, couples and families air their personal problems to a national audience in a typically entertaining fashion. Various topics and issues explored include paternity testing, cheating spouses and lovers, and out of control children.
On a typical paternity episode:
'Maury, I ain't 100, I a 1000 percent sure he my baby daddy!'
'Do you think he looks like your son?'
'Sure, look at the lips, look at the nose, he's her daddy!'
'Let's bring out Sharnel!'
(Boooo)
"She a ho, she a ho, I ain't Laronda's baby daddy, she a ho!"
There is very little deviation in the dialogue from episode to episode.
Maury Show is one of the most entertaining programs ever created.
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a talk show which was originally a game show titled "Whose da Daddy?". Only features racial stereotypes who have untold amounts of sex with their entire neighborhood and can't find out who is the father of their badly named child. So instead of having any amount of dignity and privately going to a clinic, they embarass themselves on national television and have Maury proclaim that the deadbeat scumbag man is or is not the father. The woman runs to the back and cries, the scumbag dances on stage and Maury exploits these women for his own selfish gain. It is actually pretty entertaining to watch.
Maury: When it comes to 10 month old zudafitriashoshumba, Thuga you are not the father!
Thuga: I TOLD YA, I TOLD YA, I TOLD YA (dances)
Lafunda: (runs to the backstage, crying, camera does extreme closeup) OH MAW GAWD, I THOWTH YOU WAS THE DAD, OH MAW GAWD, OH GAWD!!! I NEVER HAD SEX WID ANYBODY, BUT THAT ONE OTHER BUSLOAD OF PEOPLE I DIDINT KNOW!!!
Maury: we'll help you find the father, on the MAURY SHOW.
Announcer: The maury show was paid for by the following.
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A show full of people with many problems. Usually involves people cheating on other people or prostitutes. Also has lots of cussing & sometimes even gay couples.
Maury: Let's bring Tanaya on to the show!
Tanaya's Mother: &&#@&^*@@^%$@^@*$##^%!@&#*#@#^@@^@*#
Therefore, the Maury Show is basically a place for trash.
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An American tabloid talk show that ran from 1991 to 2022.
Dealt with a number of different topics, most notably Paternity tests, involving women who had slept with up to 20 men and asserting that the last one is the real father of her child. Ends in drama, with either the woman running offstage after the paternity results shows the man on stage is not the real father of the child, or the mother's vindication and demanding that the man be a father to his child. Such is the outcome that Maury is looking for, being a advocate for the nuclear family.
A parody episode of The Maury Povich Show:
Man: There ain't no way I'm that baby's daddy, Maury. That girl sleeps with everyone. Hell, she'd probably fuck a pack of hotdogs if they looked at her the right way.
Maury: Well, the test results are in. In the case of four-year-old Smith-and-Wesson Jr, you are not the father!
(Woman runs offstage crying, crowd boos and man jeers)