Rural Dictionary

micro$oft

58 Reasons not to install Internet Explorer:

1. It is EVIL!!!!!!!!
2: It wastes over 100 megs of hard drive space
3: Despite what Bill claims, it's not really free. Each installed copy of IE costs exactly one soul.
4: IE has more bugs than a bait store!
5: Installing it automatically signs you up for the security hole of the week club.
6: It can send your personal information to Microsoft.
7: It's been known to bite people's heads off.
8: Its installation process overwrites system DLLs with newer version that are not always 100% compatible.
9: The majority of people still use Netscape.
10: Microsoft wrote it. Do you really need another reason?
11: It scares young children.
12: Borg implants tend to itch like crazy.
13: It's proprietary; they don't want you to know what's in it.Mozilla's source code can be downloaded for free.
14: IE is "integrated" in to Windows. Netscape is a well behaved application. When IE crashes it can hose the system. Netscape won't do that.
15: The DOJ isn't after Netscape.
16: ActiveX allows hackers to do ANYTHING with your system. That's not true with Java.
17: Microsoft's Java is not compatible with standard Java and vice versa.
18: Netscape Navigator is available for more platforms that Internet Explorer. Heck, IE 6 dosn't even run on Windows 95!
19: If the install fails it can leave your system unusable.
20: Internet Explorer is evil.
21: If the install succeeds your system will be unusable.
22: Who in their right mind would want to view their hard drive as a $#%#@ web page?!
23: Overactive desktop? What exactly does that *DO* besides slow down the computer anyway?
24: Yes, we all want advertising on our desktops don't we? Nuke the channel bar.
25: You will just love the oversized tool bars if you have a 640*480 screen.
26: IE 4 on Windows 95 is basically Windows 98. And you know what a mess Windows 98 is right?
27: It has been rumored that IE can cause modems to explode.
28: Both the installer and the uninstaller are about as stable as nitroglycerin.
29: Need to use IE 3 AND IE 4? Forget it, you would have to dual boot between browsers... because IE is part of Bills OS.
30: Remember that RAM upgrade you did a few months ago? Well, you will need more.
31: 50 megs free on drive C: and 5 gigs on drive D:? Sorry, it installs 98% of its crap in the Windows system folder on drive C:!
32: Did you ever notice how easy it is to mistype "IE 4" as "IE $". Or is "IE 4" the typo?
33: IE has been proven to cause cancer in lab animals.
34: Once Micro$oft has crushed Netscape, they will cease any attempts to improve IE. (Not that they have put much effort in to it as it is).
35: ActiveX is limited to IE on Windows95/98/NT. It won't work on Mac, Linux, DOS, Windows 3.1, etc. or with other browsers.
36: It will make your monitor spin and vomit.
37: Do you really understand the IE license in legal terms? You are now Bill's towel boy.
38: IE is so evil, even Satin won't use it.
39: Most web content is still developed for Netscape Navigator.
40: IE is such a smelly piece of crap, even Mr. Hanky won't get near it.
41: The web is based on open standards. Open standards are incompatible with Internet Explorer, or any Microsoft product for that matter.
42: If you care at all about the data on your hard drive you won't install it.
43: Microsoft forces people to install and use it through bundling and unnecessary integration. If it were really any good do you think they would have to do that?
44: AOL uses IE.
45: Did I mention IE is evil?
46: Each time a copy of Internet Explorer is installed, Bill Gates has an orgasm.
47: IE's full name, MSIE is pronounced "messy". Do you really want to be a "messy" user?
48: Because "Everyone is doing it". That is the wrong reason to do anything.
49: Because management thinks IE is good.
50: For businesses, IE and Windows 98 have no place in a business environment because of all the non-optional advertising and distracting bells and whistles.
51: Because only a couple of the entries in this list are jokes. The rest are TRUE.
52: Netscape Navigator / Communicator is STILL better than IE.
53: Netscape has a cool mascot, Mozilla. Microsoft has Evie the Evil "e".
54: IE changes the way your Windows 95 desktop works even if you don't install the "enhanced" desktop.
55: At various points IE identifies itself as being "Mozilla" compatible. Why use a bad clone when you can use the real thing instead?
56: Compaq ships business computers with Windows 95 (or NTWS 4), not 98 because many companies don't want 98 and it's mandatory browser.
57: When Compaq ships IE 4.01 on Windows 95, they include a nice little leaflet titled in big letters "Problem with Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.01 for Windows 95 - Computer Non-responsive on Shutdown"
58:All Micro$oft crap is well crap!!!

Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for the damage or loss of data that IE will cause. Anyone who installs IE because of this list deserves what he/she gets.

by James "Mr X" Smith January 17, 2004

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