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Noun, slang. Used as a derogatory term toward Canadian bass players/backup vocalists with a goatee and/or a mohawk who happen to go by the name Mike Ayley. Although its origin is unknown, the word was likely first used on October 16, 2011 in a series of humorous tweets by Marianas Trench guitarist Matt Webb, who probably should have been working on recording the new album at the time.
Matt: “Mike is what I like to call an ombudsman.”
Matt: “Oh look, it’s a fucking ombudsman!”
Matt: “I think I lost 2 followers for excessively tweeting about ombudsmans last night. Oh well, they were probably ombudsmans."
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The annoying hi-fivin d-bag whose job it is to sit in the back of the crew boat yelling "Stroke, Stroke, Stroke" to the other dudes in the boat who really dont care that much about winning the race as they do having the "crew" designation on their resume for when they apply as a junior an analyst to Goldman Sachs, finally making their parents happy and thinking they've reached the end of the endless hampster wheel called life in elite America, yet only to realized that having that annoying ombudsman yelling "Stroke" at you was the highlight of your life becsuse now youre working 80 hrs a week for another former ombudsman who makes the first ombudsman seem like a really decent chap. Either one of these ombudsman are subject to unsolicited, random ejaculations of pointless and tedious yarns about their days of being the ombudsman on the Cornell crew team.
Bartholomew Windsor Winchester Winthrop was elated to report to his first day at Goldman Sachs only to find to his horror that his new GS ombudsman was the same ombudsman on the Varsity Cornell crew team when he was on the JV Cornellcrew team.
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The annoying hi-fivin D-bag who sits in the back of the rowing boat yelling, "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" at the other dudes in the boat who really don't care that much about winning but only care about having the resume designation of "rowed crew at Cornell" in order to up the odds of getting the coveted junior analyst at Goldman Sachs and thereby finally making their parents proud and colleagues suitably impressed only to find that when they finally arrive at GS on their first day, the ombudsman in their college crew boat is now their work ombudsman, and all that pointless striving they did from pre-school thru college marked the high point of their lives because now instead of the hamster wheel slowing down, its kicking into overdrive with 80+ hour work weeks with a new breed of super-ombudsman resistant to anti-jerk training, and frequently subject to inexplicable, random, unsolicited ejaculations of pointless and tedious anecdotes of life at Cornell.
When proud Cornell grad Bartholomew Windsor Winthrop-Winchester realized that his crew ombudsman at Cornell was now his work ombudsman, he immediately threw himself out the 93rd floor window, lest he have to relive another years-long period of ombudsman abuse.
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A man standing on a street corner selling bags of weed.
I seen Ras Babbo on the street corner, and I asked him what he does, and he answered Ombudsman, nickel or dime?
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Verb. A function that selected Montgomery County Public Schools staff "do". Sometimes confused with the noun "Ombudsman", but MCPS no longer has an Ombudsman because the Board of Education eliminated that position in November 2008 to reduce accountability.
"Please ombudsman that issue."
"I can't take that phone call right now become I am in the middle of
ombudsmaning this letter."
"Let me ombudsman that for you."
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A school official who distributes small bags of marijuana to the students in a "drug-free school zone" --- i.e., if you attend classes, you're given weed at no charge (see tobacco-free campus for further details).
Disgusted college-enrollee: I was really pleased when i saw this school's brochure that boasted about its entire grounds being a "drug--free school zone" and about there always being an "ombudsman" on duty, but then when I got here, I was chagrined to discover that there were in fact no "gratis buds" after all --- it merely meant that zero drugs of any kind were permitted for students, and that the management would swiftly investigate complaints of faculty's misconduct. What a disappointment!
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A school where short bus riders go
Jeremy: I went to Ombudsman school because i wasn't going to get passed for attending alone.
Seth: What are you retarded?
Jeremy: It's called a learning disability, bro
Seth: Oh ok.
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