pelp

Penis-Endowed Life Partner. Compare with "VELP", which was coined by Tim Minchin regarding female partners. PELP is the male equivalent of this.

My PELP and I went to see Tim Minchin last night

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pelp

Pelping someone means to slowly insert a dead fish into their rectum.

This is taken from a famous German cartoon by Walter Moers.

...where he was pelped by the Inquisition...

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pelping

Inserting the penis in the vagina continuously resulting in hardcore sex

I was "pelping" your sister lastnight