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AKA Ruby or the Devil's Liquor, New England's most delightful vodka/paint thinner.
The catalyst for many nights of blank memories, random injuries and just all round pure shame. Comes in a variety of flavors to tempt you to try each one, when in reality all this does is make you buy more of the nail polish remover. Flavors include Wretching Raspberry, Gutter Green Apple and Paralysis Pink Lemonade. Costs $13 for a handle of death, and is probably enough to send you to hospital each night for the entire weekend. Known to burn throats, tastebuds, eye sockets, nostrils or any other orifice which may be exposed to her fiery side.
Beware of Ruby, she is a psychotic sociopath and WILL ruin your life.
"Yo what shall we drink tonight?"
"Rubinoff duh"
"Dude, last week you drank so much Ruby, you got sent to hospital with a hole in your throat and rectal bleeding"
"But bro, it's $13, I wanna get so drunk I can't remember the alphabet, and I'm broke-ass"
"Good point, which flavor, I'm feelin' Melon tonight"
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I just took a shot of death and it was called Rubinoff.
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The most pure form of Vodka known to man. So pure that drinking it straight can cause damage to taste buds along with potential burning of the throat. Provides a drunk unmatched to all other vodkas. From the vodka kingdom known as Somerville, Mass. Won a triple-blind taste test, going up against all 'high-quality' vodkas.
Hey, do you want the best vodka in the world? Let's drink some RUBINOFF!
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Famous Vodka from the Rubinoff Family. Originating in Tsarist Russia, the Rubinoff family name is lived on by Vladimir Rubinoff who, along with his wife Veronica, moved from Russia to Somerville, Massachusetts (USA). The Rubinoff family crest is imprinted on every bottle, allowing their name to live on forever.
The Rubinoff family was not the only family to leave Russia, as rival Dimitri Zarkoff also migrated to Somerville and produced Vodka for the New England region. The Zarkoff family was known for owning many of the buildings in Leningrad. Vladimir ended up sleeping with Dimitri's wife, Natalia. Dimitri would never forgive Vladimir for this action.
Cousin Cossack, a former Communist General, moved away from Russia following the fall of the Soviet Union. Cossack was known for the invasion and eventual takeover of Petrograd. He also moved to Somerville, and accordingly produced Vodka. There is a growing concern among the Russians that Cossack may try to take over Somerville and destroy the Rubinoff and Zarkoff family name, along with other minor factions in the region. A peace summit is being organized to bring together the Zarkoffs and Rubinoffs in hope to overcome their past so they can work together to stave off the threat coming from Cossack. Fellow Vodka maker James Caldwell is hosting the summit.
Oh, you are about to drink RUBINOFF? Do you know the history of the beverage you consume? The Rubinoff's and Zarkoff's have been fighting for centuries, but now both are vulnerable to Cossack, and his ilk! Promote peace!
LONG LIVE RUBINOFF!
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1. The classiest, most delicious drink in the universe. It was created by God and is the beverage of choice of every angel in heaven. Any mortal fortunate enough to get his/her hands on a bottle of this sweet nectar can expect to experience an incredible (and tasty!) night.
2. Sex in a bottle.
I had to change my pants after taking a sip of that Rubinoff because its awesome taste caused me to orgasm.
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The bottle is plastic so it doesnt shattered when you fall down the stairs drunk off you ass.
Rubinoff Vodka, it rubbin off on YOU!
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Horrible alcohol from Slummaville. Tastes like nail polish remover going down. Gives you a full body hangover and makes you feel like someone threw you down a flight of stairs.
I just drank some Rubinoff last night and now my head is exploding and I've had the shits since 4am.
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