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shart-back-and-sides

The name given to the aftermath caused by a spontaneous, explosive diarrhoea fart that contains a higher-than-average volume of liquid, such that when the underwear briefs or underpants are cautiously peeled back to inspect the damage, the area from the top of the buttocks to the hips can clearly be seen to be covered consistently with an opaque, coloured-blocked film of brown fecal matter that has the thickness of cake icing and a sharp, clearly defined perimeter that is impressively edged with ruler-lined precision by the jockstrap and elastic leg edges to infer an upside down “short back and sides” style haircut, similar to hairstyles commonly used on Lego figurines.

Mate, I’m gonna need at least 2 more rolls of bog-roll; this is a proper shart-back-and-sides shituation back here, throw in a squeegee if you see any.

by jonnyvonbon June 19, 2024