stoned as a rock

When you are so high that you are literally a rock

I smoked 6 blunts and cant leave my bed. I am as stoned as a rock

Heart of Stone on the Rock

The world's worst cocktail: tap water poured over a solitary ice cube.

Can also refer to someone in a position of authority not giving their mates any breaks

JJ: hey did you hear Bungle is now running the Balham Tup?
Pat: sweet, did he hook you up with free booze?
JJ: no way man, he'd even charge me for a Heart of Stone on the Rock!

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I'm stoned cause I'm rock hard

I'm stoned cause I'm rock hard is used when somebody mentions that you are "stoned" so you respond by saying you have a raging boner.

Random bot "Bro's stoned "
Guy "I'm stoned cause I'm rock hard"

stoned as a rock

When you penis is harder than hard.

Alex: Hey your penis is hard.
Drew: Yeah, it's stoned as a rock!