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When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.
Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."
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The act of having sexual intercourse, turtle style. This involves the woman bent over, with the man bent on top of her entering her from behind. It is best accompanied by high-pitched frightening moans coming from either person.
girl 1 "last night me and mike were dancing, and he bent over on top of me! It was so arousing!"
girl 2 "looks like it was your first time having turtle sex!"
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When you hold you lover down on the bed by their crotch using your hand in a claw shaped almost hook position and watch them struggle to get free with their arms and legs waving like an upside down Turtle.
Today I had turtle sex with my girlfriend. She couldn't stop laughing and I was taking bets mentally to guess if she was going to pee her pants or get turned on.
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to masturbate with a turtle object
Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.
Kristen: Where's Mert?
Lafundah: Oh he'll be late, he's having turtle sex again....
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Want to do some ninja turtle sex?
Sure, let me get my backpack!
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W: Let's go have ninja turtle sex.
M: What's ninja turtle sex?
W: It's sex with a backpack on.
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adjective:
1. The act of having turtle sex, hillbilly style.
2. A sexual position with the male crouching and the woman laying face down under a coffee table with her waist lifted slightly off the ground, while the man holds a wiffle ball bat used to whack the woman over the head whenever she pops it out from the opposite side of the table.
"Man, she was ugly as shit but I was fresh out of bags, so we just had hillbilly turtle sex instead. It's the best kind of hate sex, too! It turns out a wiffle ball bat leaves no marks. She won't admit it after the fact, but I know she liked it."
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